Mama's No Slut
by TheNuttyAuthor
Summary: Spirit Albarn had her heart broken after she cheated on her husband, Kami, and he divorced her. As she tries hard to be a good mother and rekindles her past friendship with Franken Stein, it's possible that she can change and her broken heart will be healed. AU. Stein/F!Spirit. Past M!Kami/F!Spirit. Background Maka/F!Crona and Soul/Patty.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own the legal copyrights to _Soul Eater_. I was not involved in the production of the anime or manga in any way. This is just for fan purposes and me seeing what _Soul Eater_ would be like with a female Spirit and male Kami.

Author's note: Spirit's no less sexual and perverted as a woman. I hope she comes off as sympathetic instead of the villain, since I really enjoy writing a female main character with this personality. I hope I'm not too graphic for a T rating. This fic would probably be rated T+ or Older Teen if there were such a rating.

-oooooooo-

Spirit Albarn had intended to go home and see Kami and Maka after being in the Death Room all day. But she had needs, and Lord Death was being totally random. Something about how his son, Kid, needed a weapon. Spirit had to stand there all day and show off photos of weapons. Hehe, she tried showing off many male weapons, grinning giddily at Kid. If he'd picked one of the weapons she'd chosen, he'd have such a hot weapon! Sadly, none of them had been symmetrical enough for Kid's tastes; he'd decided to choose his own weapons.

In retrospect, Spirit shouldn't have gushed so much over the male weapons and their hotness that she found candid pictures of them. She mixed the picture sets up and showed Kid the sexy ones by mistake. What a spectacular fuck-up _that _was. Poor Kid was just as straight as Spirit, and Lord Death teased her for being a pervert! Okay, she _was_ a pervert, and she had a hard time controlling when to be appropriate with attractive men, but she couldn't help it! There were just so many handsome men in Death City, and it was so hard for her _not_ to give in to temptation.

Spirit felt so guilty the moment she walked in the door. She didn't intend to visit the host club. All she'd wanted was a drink, and she could get one anywhere that served beer. But Chupa Cabra's was her favorite place when she wanted a drink, even though it _was_ just a host club to most people. She got to hang out with hot guys and drink beer. There really wasn't anything better. Her guilt started to turn to joy, happy bubbles forming in her stomach.

The bartender smiled and waved at her. It was the same mustachioed man who had been there for the past six years. She liked seeing a sharp-dressed man, and she knew some of the host club's other clients did too. "Hey, Spirit!"

Everyone knew her at Chupa Cabra's. She grinned and waved to the bartender. "Hey!"

Spirit had been coming here since Maka was eight; she'd just decided to enter the host club out of curiosity, and she got hooked. The men here made her feel normal, so she paid a lot of money once or twice a week to spend time with them. They'd allow her sex with a host she knew well when she needed it, but she'd have to pay extra. As the personal weapon of Lord Death, she was paid quite well; money was no object to her.

Not like Kami knew that. He just assumed that whatever was left each week from Spirit spending money at the host club was her salary.

She grinned, pulling her wallet out from her black messenger bag. It didn't quite fit her elegant, dapper image of a woman in a suit, but she'd always been too tomboyish to pull off elegant. "Are Leo and Arima available?" She started to dig around in her wallet for her credit card. She had lots of coupons for drinks at Chupa Cabra's that expired tomorrow, so she pulled them out. Ah! She'd found her credit card! She flourished it with the handful of coupons.

The bartender smiled at her. "Leo and Arima? They've been waiting for you all week."

"Really?" Spirit's eyes widened. She felt like the luckiest woman in the world. Oh, yes, come to Mama…she could use some sweet, sweet loving right now. Sometimes she had different hosts, but Leo and Arima had been her favorites ever since they started work in the club.

He chuckled. "You're their favorite customer. Didn't you know?"

"Oh, wow! I'd just like to let you know that I'll be paying for sex with Arima tonight." It was so good to be appreciated! Two young men, one blond and one brunet, ran out. Spirit let out a happy sigh. Blond Arima's black suit clung to his body, emphasizing delicious muscle in his chest and arms that she loved touching; his long hair was pulled back in a ponytail like hers. Short-haired brunet Leo, dressed in a golden suit and black tie, was no less strong, but far more lithe in build. Oh, yes…come to Mama…she couldn't wait to be with them for the night. Money was no object. She'd stay long enough for sex with them both—she _needed_ it, god, she _needed_ to be fucked—and then she'd leave.

She allowed them to lead her to the couch, sighing happily as they each took her by the arm. She _adored_ having a man on each arm. It made her feel loved and feminine; the strong, powerful Death Scythe relished and desired being thought of as desirable. "What's wrong, Spirit?" Leo asked. Ah, these host men could always tell when she needed them! So receptive! She loved it.

"I had a rough day with Lord Death and his son, and I didn't even get lunch." They served snacks at the host club, so she looked at the menu of services and treats offered. Mmm, red velvet cake pops and miniature chocolate doughnuts with vanilla cream filling sounded _divine_ to her right now. Along with a nice cold strawberry margarita, she'd be sated with talk and cuddles and lovely sweet kisses until she paid for sex.

"Aw," Arima cooed. "Tell us about it, madam Death Scythe." He scooted close to Spirit, who laughed and wrapped her right arm around him. She made her order when the waiter came around, laughing and nuzzling her head against Arima's shoulder.

"I had to help Lord Death's son choose his weapon, but I had the wrong set of weapon pictures! So I improvised a reason why Kid should pick out one of the weapons I had, and he told me he was straight! I didn't think he was gay! Not like I had reason to think he was straight either! All he ever seems to care about is symmetry! He even tried to fix my hair because it was asymmetrical!" She clung to Arima as she started to cry. Why? Why did this always happen to her?

"There, there. You couldn't have known."

"It's okay. It wasn't your fault. You're so preoccupied with being Lord Death's weapon that you couldn't have noticed." Leo started to massage her shoulders, rubbing away the tension from standing straight and symmetrical at the request of Kid. Arima kissed her, oh so sweetly on the lips. "It's okay, sweet Spirit," Leo said. He kissed her neck and ear. Oh, her little darlings had learned how to anticipate her needs, because Arima had pulled her into a sweet, deep kiss that left Spirit moaning when he stopped.

Her hosts changed positions, Arima rubbing her shoulders and Leo giving her a good deep kiss. "Yeah. You're a beautiful, strong Death Scythe," purred Arima. His voice and hands were so soothing that Spirit felt like she was going to melt into his touches.

The treats and drink came by, Spirit opting to sip her fancy strawberry margarita slowly. It was _so divine_. This place got everything right! In between sips of her drink, Arima and Leo would feed her miniature doughnuts and cake pops. Sure, she could do it herself, but it was so sweet that they fed her. They were taking care of her like she was some sort of princess.

"You've spoiled me today," she teased.

Arima cooed, "You needed it." He fed her a doughnut, and she bit in it, not caring that some of the cream oozed out of her mouth. She wasn't the world's neatest eater anyway, so she just licked the right corner of her mouth and smiled.

"Our Spirit needs to be treated right. You're such a powerful weapon." Leo let out a sigh in pleasure. "Best client we've ever had."

"So good to us. You never cause any problems!" Arima kissed her on the cheek. Spirit was one of the few clients who expected and wanted physical affection in addition to feeling loved and taken care of. She knew it was odd, especially when she saw the way most of the other customers behaved. They didn't seem to like being touched or held the way she craved to be. She'd been a touchy sort of woman for as long as she could remember, cuddling and holding people with the expectation that they'd hold her too.

This was the only place that made her feel normal. Nobody told her that she was a bad woman for being married and having sexual desire for men. They tried to _accommodate_ her and her needs here. Even though she had a medical condition that made it really, _really_ hard for her to say no to sex or stop herself from being perverted. The doctors had called it sex addiction and nymphomania. She'd managed it just fine with medication she told Kami was for obsessive-compulsive behavior for ten years after she was diagnosed. Then the pharmacist lost her prescription and she hadn't managed to get more pills during any of her doctor visits.

She tossed her long red ponytail over her shoulder, laughing when the two men each got under one of her arms. She squeezed them both close and grinned when they returned her embrace. "Ah, sweet ones," she cooed. "I missed you so much. Need you to fuck me so badly right now…"

The door opened, and Kami strode in, looking angry as hell. His brown trench coat billowed behind him, almost perfectly matching the color of his eyes. A black shirt clung to his muscles, showing that he was still just as broad and strong as ever, and he wore classic fit blue jeans that seemed to hug his ass and groin but didn't cling too close to the rest of his legs. Did he _have_ to choose an outfit that looked so badass and sexy? Spirit wanted to run to him, feel her meister husband's muscles, and beg him to fuck her right there while everyone was watching.

No, bad Spirit! That was a really naughty fantasy! She wanted it so badly though. She could almost taste Kami kissing her and making his claim on her in public. She'd never been good at impulse control. But because she'd been friends with Stein since she was in second grade and he was in kindergarten, she'd learned. She had to. Someone had to be responsible for Stein. It wasn't her anymore.

Anger shone in his brown eyes. Spirit whimpered; he rarely got like this with her unless she'd done something wrong. Oh. Right. Cheating _was_ something wrong. But she _needed_ sex at least once a week or she felt like she was going to die. That was why the doctors said she was an addict. And now Kami was going to find out. He'd never believe her. Nobody did except those doctors who got her pills to help handle it. "Has anyone seen my wife? Lord Death said she'd be here."

Kami had checked in with Lord Death to find her? Oh no. She must've been really late coming home! She should've called him, but all she cared about was her own pleasure. What kind of loving wife _was_ she? He paced around. "Sir, who's your wife?" one of the hosts asked. "Can you describe her for me?"

"She's a redhead with great curves, a ponytail, blue eyes, and a tendency to wear suits." _Oh_. That was how Kami saw her looks. She wondered if she should try to dress sexier for him; maybe that was why they didn't have sex as much as she'd like. He didn't think she was attractive. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about how that must feel to him. He looked so sexy. Why couldn't she try looking sexy for him?

"Oh! You're looking for Miss Spirit. I didn't know that you were married to her. She's on the couch over there." Kami's combat boots clicked as he walked towards the couch. Spirit stood up. She loosened her tie and undid her ponytail. She tried to undo some of the buttons on her shirt so that Kami could see her cleavage. She wanted him to grab her possessively and say she was _his_.

She flashed a flirtatious wink and purred, "Hi, Kami." He still looked angry with her, and she didn't know why. She needed him. He was her meister, and if he couldn't be convinced to have sex with her, maybe he could polish and sharpen her scythe form. Her blade had started to become dull lately, and she couldn't fix it herself. It made her want to cry. Spirit smiled at him, reaching out to touch him. She tried to take him by the hand, but anger flashed in his eyes again. Oh. He must not want sex then. Or her. "Are you here to see me, love?"

He let out a sigh and took her by the hand to the car. Spirit hadn't even paid yet for her time at Chupa Cabra's. The bartender handed her back the credit card and whispered, "This one's on the house." Spirit didn't care. She was being taken somewhere by Kami, and maybe he was planning something romantic. Oh, she hoped so! She loved her Kami and didn't want to make him angry.

They drove in silence the way home, the only sound the jazz music that Kami liked to listen to in the car. Once they got home and in the house, Kami let out a sigh, like he was displeased with her. She looked at him in worry, biting her lip and whimpering. He didn't look happy, he looked sad that she was found in a host club. "Kami-love? Is something wrong?"

"Please tell me that you were only in that host club because Lord Death sent you after someone. A witch, or an informant to witches."

"No, Kami. I went there on my own"

"Then why were you there?"

Oh no. If she told the truth, she'd have to explain about the pills. She'd have to explain her medical condition and how it made her need sex a lot more then Kami thought she did. Twice a month and falling asleep after wasn't good enough. But she had to tell the truth, otherwise he'd never trust her again. She couldn't stop herself from crying.

"I have a medical condition that makes me compelled to go there," she admitted. "Those pills I had and said were for obsessive-compulsive behavior until six years ago? They weren't for obsessive-compulsive behavior at all."

Kami rolled his eyes. "Are you serious? What medical condition could _possibly_ make you compelled to visit host clubs?"

Spirit sobbed. "I know! It sounds like bullshit! But when I was sixteen, a year before we met, I was clinically diagnosed with sex addiction."

"You're making up an excuse so that you can justify cheating on me," Kami snapped. "Sex addiction isn't a thing, Spirit. It's just an excuse to be a slut."

"K-kami…those pills were to help me manage my sex addiction. They made me have far less sexual urges, so I was satisfied with twice a month."

He scowled at her, glaring down at her 5'8" frame. "You're a woman. How can you possibly want sex more than twice a month?"

She sobbed and sobbed, unable to stop herself from crying. "I'm not like that. If I don't have sex at least once a week, I feel like I'm going to die. All my thoughts start to shut down and I can't concentrate."

"See, that's a slutty excuse. If you weren't a slut, you'd be fine with me! You'd be loyal! I can't believe you cheated, Spirit! I thought you loved me! I thought you were a good mother to Maka!" He paced around, crossing his arms in frustration. How could he think she didn't love him? How could he think she wasn't a good mama? She _did_ love her family, more then anything in the world. That was why she didn't tell him about her medical condition. She thought he'd try to leave her for it. She thought Maka would worry that she'd inherit it, or worse, be disgusted.

He left, and she managed to drag herself to the couch, sobbing and sobbing. Was she going to lose him? Maka came over to her and asked, "What's wrong, Mama?" Her daughter was visiting them from her DWMA provided housing. Spirit loved those visits. She got to be with her daughter and take care of her.

She couldn't lie to her Maka! She loved her daughter! She'd been such a proud mama when Maka was accepted into the DWMA as a meister. "Maka! I cheated on your papa and he found out! Oh, Maka, I don't mean to cheat, but I've got a problem and I can't stop myself from it! I just love you and your papa so much!"

Maka walked away. Oh. Maka didn't want to comfort her. Spirit curled up on the couch, sobbing and sobbing without noticing time until Kami came back. She heard his feet before she saw him. She was still crying. He could leave her, and he was the love of her life! Spirit couldn't live without him! She needed Kami.

"I got the papers for divorce. All I need is your signature," Kami snapped.

"Divorce? Kami!" She flung herself off the couch and grabbed his legs, holding onto them. There was a high keening sound in the room, and she didn't know what it was at first, but it was _her_. She stopped only to sob and look up at him. "I love you, Kami! I can change, I promise. I'll go back to taking my pills. I'll get marriage counseling for us. You're the love of my life! I won't be able to be happy without you! Kami! Kami, please! I need you! God, Kami, I love you so much, I'll do anything for you!"

He looked down at her and scowled. "Then sign these divorce papers, you slut. You're making everything up about sex addiction. I talked to a marriage counselor, and she agrees that sex addiction is just a way that whorish women like you justify cheating on their husbands." He shoved the papers in front of her face. Spirit wailed and clung closer to his legs.

"Kami, no! Please!" She felt like her heart was breaking.

"Sign the papers, Spirit. I can't live with a cheating whore of a wife. Who knows what diseases you have."

Spirit's tears came fresh as she signed, only doing it for Kami. This would just be a trial separation, and then they'd get back together. Spirit would show him that she could be an amazing mother! She'd stop being a pervert! Then Kami would have to take her back and fix her broken heart. She needed him. She loved him so much, it felt like her heart broke again when he left with the divorce papers and a suitcase.

"Maka, I love you. Please don't go," she begged. All she had left was Maka. She had to prove herself to be the best mother in Death City or else Kami wouldn't come back for her.

"You drove Papa away. Now he's going to the DWMA branch in Orlando, Florida. Why did you have to cheat?"

"Mama loves you, Maka. I'll never cheat on anyone again. I'll win your papa back and make you proud of me!"

"You're no mama of mine!" Maka stomped out the door, slamming it shut.

Spirit was alone. The two people she loved most had abandoned her because she was a pervert. She went to crawl into bed, dragging the covers on her side. She didn't even have the energy to brush her teeth or eat dinner. All she wanted was to sleep and wake up from this horrible dream.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the legal copyrights to _Soul Eater_. I was not involved in the production of the anime or manga in any way. This is just for fan purposes and me seeing what _Soul Eater_ would be like with a female Spirit and male Kami.

Author's note: There is some canon dialog in this and future chapters. Also, I decided to write a completely original scene from Spirit's POV to replace the one in canon where he next appears after Maka and Soul go off to fight Blair. Stein appears in this chapter!

-oooooooo-

She spent the next month at home or in the Death Room, not caring about anything but that she'd failed Maka. The Death Scythe knew she was a failure as a mama and as a parent; she'd do anything to get her daughter's forgiveness. Her thoughts alternately felt sluggish or like they were racing, and sometimes she couldn't concentrate when she watched handsome male meisters on their missions. Lord Death had to Reaper Chop her a few times because she wouldn't snap out of her longing.

She yelled at a few young meisters for being perverts towards their weapons; if weapons were acting like that, she snapped at them too. Redheaded women with green eyes got yelled at the most when they acted like perverts. Lord Death wouldn't let her watch Kami. Apparently, she was too unstable to see him without having a breakdown. Whatever that meant.

She got to watch Maka, though. Every time Lord Death told her that Maka had a mission, Spirit would show up without fail and watch her daughter. Oh, Maka was making her mama so proud with how quickly she mastered being a scythe meister! She was just as strong as her papa! No, Kami was stronger, but Maka was so smart! She'd learn how to be a good scythe meister soon!

It was that damn partner of hers Spirit didn't like. Soul Evans was nothing but trouble from day one, and Spirit hated the idea of her daughter having a male weapon partner. Soul had a major weakness towards women that Spirit worried could develop into him being a pervert. Maka deserved better! No daughter of Spirit Albarn was going to have a perverted weapon! If Spirit had to hurt Soul to get him to stop acting like that towards women, she _would_.

If he ever touched her daughter, he was so dead.

So Spirit stood waiting with Lord Death today, hoping that Maka would contact them. She had to appear confident; if she looked anything less than cool and badass, she wouldn't impress Maka. So she yanked on her ponytail, forcing an expression of nonchalance on her face. All she wanted was to grin and tell Maka congratulations for getting that soul after hugging her.

All they'd have to do in order to make Maka's annoying partner a Death Scythe was get two more souls. Spirit couldn't wait to see Maka with a Death Scythe. She knew that her daughter was trying to make a better weapon then her, but she was so proud! Maybe she could have encouraged that _without_ cheating. She shouldn't have cheated. If she hadn't cheated on Kami—it had been a month since he went to Orlando—maybe Maka would still love her.

She snapped a rubber band on her left wrist as she imagined just how happy to see her Kami would be when he came back home; over the past month, Spirit had decided to associate her sex addiction with pain. It wasn't working. Maybe she needed to see a doctor and get a prescription for medication.

The Death Room's mirror started to shimmer, and Spirit's heart flipped when she saw her Maka in the mirror. "Hello, Lord Death? Are you there? Meister Maka reporting."

Lord Death sprung to action and stared at Maka. Spirit could practically hear the _boing _as he got up. "Yeah, yeah! Hello, meister Maka!" The Grim Reaper hadn't always been like this; Spirit knew that once upon a time, he'd been evil. But now he was far more laid back, and he was a good papa to Kid. "How are you doing? How did it go?" Well, Lord Death sure looked cheery. Spirit didn't like looking at Maka's weapon. She'd turn her arm into a scythe blade and whack him with it if he acted perverted towards her Maka. She stayed her distance. Maka wouldn't want to talk to her.

She saw her daughter smile. "I've just collected the ninety-nine Kishin souls, sir. Now we just have one witch soul left to collect and we'll be done." Pride swelled in Spirit's heart. What a smart daughter she had! Maka managed to get almost all the souls she needed! She really could handle that annoying Soul Evans! Oh, Maka!

"Excellent. Well done, Maka! You're proving to be just as excellent of a meister as your father!"

Maka giggled, scratching her head as she grinned with the praise. Spirit wished she could compliment her daughter. But she had to make sure Soul knew where his boundaries were with _her Maka_.

She walked up to the Death Mirror and scowled. "Hey! Soul Eater!" she yelled. He glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. She angrily yanked at her ponytail, glaring at him as she leaned down to his height. He looked at her with disinterest. "If you even _think_ of touching my Maka. If you lay a goddamn hand on her...then as a Death Scythe—no, _as_ _her mother_—I will fucking kill you! I don't tolerate perverts near my Maka! Got it, you little punk? You lay so much as _one finger_ on her, you're dead!" Spirit wasn't a violent person, but she'd do anything to protect her Maka from people like Soul.

"So you're Maka's mother." He looked at her breasts. God, he was such a pervert! She couldn't help that she was cursed with a D cup and wide hips!

Spirit crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. "Of course I'm her mama, asshole! Who did you _think_ I was?"

"Wow. You're much prettier then she is. Hard to believe that a beauty like you is related to a flat-chested bookworm." Soul flexed a muscle, and Spirit blushed at being called pretty. She couldn't help herself, she knew it was wrong, but she was drawn to his body. _So attractive…_she loved seeing men flex their muscles. Oh, wow! He looked so attractive right now! She was even starting to forgive his stupid hair for existing!

She stared into his eyes and tried to look closer into the mirror. She wanted to run her hands over his muscles, feeling them and rubbing his shoulders. She wanted him to hold her close and kiss her nice and deep. Her heart was starting to beat faster. Even in a hoodie and baggy jeans, he was so attractive!

Spirit screamed. He called Maka ugly! No, she couldn't just drool over her daughter's pervert weapon. She couldn't stop herself from sticking her head into the mirror and throwing her fists at him. Nobody insulted her little girl! "What did you just say? My Maka is beautiful! She's the prettiest girl in the world!"

"See how cool I am?" he asked. Her mouth went dry. A silly grin spread across her face, and her eyes lit up.

"Oh yeah!" She thrust out her chest, hoping that he'd at least think about groping her. "Come to mama Spirit! Gimme some sweet, sweet loving! Maka, why aren't you dating this honey? He's so hot!" Both Maka and her—attractive, so attractive, she wanted him—weapon were looking at her in shock. Lord Death tapped her on the shoulder. Oh god, she fucked up again! Why did she have to be such a pervert?

She turned towards Maka and sighed. "Maka, your mama loves you! Please forgive me. I didn't mean to say…what I just did. I'm such a hypocrite! I don't want you to be around perverts, but your mama _is_ a pervert! Mama's so sorry, Maka! Please forgive me! I love you!"

"Don't waste your breath on me," Maka spat. "There's no way I'll ever consider you my mama."

Spirit stared in shock. Maka…didn't love her? But…Maka…she loved her Maka. She wanted her Maka to forgive her. She walked over to the hallway outside the Death Room, closing her eyes and sobbing. Maka! Maka didn't love her anymore! Why did she have to act like such a pervert?

Maka hated her! Nothing else mattered! She wailed and sobbed, taking out a small doll she'd made of Maka and hugging it. This was the only way she could get to hug her daughter these days! Why did she have to be a cheating bitch? She and Kami could've been happy together!

She was vaguely aware of Lord Death talking about the souls and how Maka couldn't fail. She wanted Maka to have a Death Scythe like her papa did! Spirit would be there, and she'd protect her daughter! Oh Maka! She loved her so much! She didn't want her to die! "Maka!" she sobbed.

Lord Death made a noise that sounded like he was frustrated. "You're being annoying," he said. He didn't warn her before she felt a sharp pain in the back of her head and fell over. Not the Reaper Chop! She reached a hand back to rub at her head, groaning when she felt a noticeable lump. Ow! Why did he have to do that? "Spirit, if you don't shut up, I'm going to use my Reaper Chop to split your head open!"

She managed to get to her feet and scowled at Lord Death. "You know, it's more effective if you _warn_ before you chop," she snapped. She'd used the Spirit Chop on her old meister, Stein, so many times when she was younger. When he got bigger and stronger then she was, she'd learned how to chop him with the flat of her scythe blade to get him to do what she wanted him to. "It's more of a threat! So let me cry in peace at my own home, okay?"

"Okay," Lord Death said. He waved. Spirit watched those hands warily, backing out of the Death Room so that she could see him. "See you around!"

Her head hurt. If she weren't trying to get rid of her sex addiction, she'd have gone over to Chupa Cabra's to order a drink and some fun with the always handsome Arima and Leo. She'd quit going. Cheating was wrong, and Spirit wasn't a cheating slut anymore. Now she had money to buy nice stuff for Maka this month!

She walked home, stopping at Starbucks Coffee for a large mocha chocolate chip Frappuccino with a giant mound of whipped cream. She'd always liked whipped cream. Sure, coffee made her hyper, but coffee was at least better than beer. She couldn't cheat on Kami if she got a large frozen coffee and then walked home!

As soon as she got home, still sipping on her frozen coffee, she noticed that someone was at her apartment, picking the locks. That _someone_ had a stitched up lab coat on and a big screw in his head. Spirit screamed. Oh, no! Not Franken Stein! How did he know where she lived anyway? She and Kami had never told him where they lived! Her right arm transformed into a scythe blade. She held her frozen coffee with her left hand, clutching it so that she didn't drop the precious coffee. "Spirit Chop!" she yelled, reaching her bladed arm up and hitting him straight in the head. He fell over onto the ground. With those damn lockpicks in his hand. She hoped that they broke. If he picked the locks on her door again…she'd break all his lockpicks and Spirit Chop him some more.

That just made her wonder how often he'd been doing that. Oh no! What if he knew where she lived _before_ today? Well, if he did, how often had she walked home to find an unlocked door this past month? A lot! She just assumed that she'd forgotten to lock the door those times; Spirit had never been the most observant person, and sometimes she was already at the Death Room by the time she remembered where her keys were. She used to rely on Kami and Maka for observation. What if all those times she thought she'd left the door unlocked were Stein breaking in?

Oh god. What was wrong with him?

There was only one solution: Spirit had to go to Death City Hardware and buy new locks! Money was no object! All that mattered was Stein-proofing her house! She unlocked the door and grabbed her black messenger bag before leaving.

She had a red 2012 Ford Focus. Kami had gotten her the car, and she didn't have the heart to tell him she always bumped her head on the door when she drove. "Owwww," she groaned, rubbing her sore head. Why did she have to keep a vehicle that she _knew_ would bring her physical pain if she didn't duck?

-oooooooo-

Death City Hardware's parking lot was crowded. Had Stein broken into _everyone's_ houses? Probably. Argh! What a jerk! Her stomach flipped nervously, and she barely managed to find a parking spot.

Employees of Death City Hardware rushed around, bearing carts of wheeled chairs, silverware, and what appeared to be a bunch of boxes of lockpicks. Maybe Spirit should've gone to Home Depot or Lowes. It looked like some deranged maniac was shopping today. Or, worse, there was a Kishin whose madness was affecting all the shoppers. Spirit would have to take care of that; she _was_ a Death Scythe.

She managed to find a nice employee and shot the man her best charming smile. Eeee! He was so handsome! Black hair, glasses, and this body that looked like he was strong enough to throw her down and have his way with her. She liked! "Hi!" she said. "I'm Spirit!" She crossed her arms over her breasts, grinning, and did her best to read the nametag. It said "Hi, I'm Larson." Spirit grinned at him again. She was aware how perverted she looked, but she didn't care. "Wanna help me with something I need, handsome?"

"Er..." Poor, sweet, handsome boy didn't know how he could give her some sweet loving. Spirit decided to turn up the charm.

Someone tapped Spirit on her shoulder. Oh! It was her Kami, come back from Orlando! Ah yes! Her husband was so hot! She could feel blood drip from her nose. She grabbed Kami and nuzzled her head against his chest. "Kami! I missed you so much! So sorry! I shouldn't have acted like a pervert! I'll only be like that with you, honey!" Oh, she hoped he needed her as much as _she_ needed him!

"Hey there, Spirit."

She stared in shock, eyes wide open as she looked at him. That wasn't Kami! It was Stein! Oh no! What had she just done? "Gah! Stein! What do you want? I didn't mean to say those things!"

His glasses glinted. She looked away and backed up. Which was when Larson spoke. "Oh! That's the guy who was buying all our locks last week! He said he had a lot of stuff to lock!"

Gah! Stein! He wanted to break into her apartment and dissect her! "Is something going on with you and Kami?"

"No! Nothing's going on! I'm just hyper because I had a whole Starbucks coffee!" she babbled.

Stein bent down and picked her up. "Come on, Spirit," he said. Kami hadn't ever been strong enough to pick her up like that. So strong! She nestled her head against his chest, nuzzling against it. He carried her to the Starbucks next door and smiled nice and sweet at her as he put her down. It wasn't the creepy monster smile that she saw in her nightmares. Could he actually be handsome? "I just wanted to see how you were doing. Sorry about breaking in to your house."

Was he actually _apologizing_ to her? She blushed. Blood trickled out of her nose, and she looked away. Someone cared about her? She thought everyone had decided that she was a slut! Spirit wiped the blood out of her nose and looked at him. "I'm not b-blushing because I like you or anything! You just startled me, that's all! Thanks for c-checking on me! Sorry for acting like a perv!"

Stein smiled at her. "See you around, Spirit." He left the Starbucks, and Spirit caught herself watching him move. What was wrong with her nose? Why wouldn't it stop bleeding?

-oooooooo-

She wandered down the hall to the Death Room. Stein hadn't shown up in three days. Any other time, she'd find it comforting that he lived...wherever it was that he lived. Right now, she was just confused. He'd given her bad nosebleeds! Why? So she'd spent her time at Starbucks, drinking coffee and trying to forgo sleep. Every time she dreamed, he was there, and he was _with her_! Fucking her! Gah! She needed the coffee to stay awake!

She laughed. "Ah, good times at Starbucks." Spirit grinned, swagger in her step as she practically bounced into the Death Room.

Lord Death looked _so angry_ when he saw her. What had she done? "You're out drinking overpriced coffee while your daughter's in trouble? What kind of mother _are_ you?"

Spirit's eyes widened. "What? Maka! Something happened!" She bent over to watch the Death Mirror. Lord Death didn't have it on her Maka!

"She's not doing so well against this witch. It looks like she might die." Lord Death set the mirror to watch Maka; Spirit saw her daughter running around rooftops while something was _exploding_. Why wasn't Maka attacking? Could she attack? Oh no! Spirit had to save her!

"What?" She started to transform her body into a scythe, blades sprouting from each arm and her back. "Maka, hold on! Mama's coming to save you!" Nothing mattered. Maka could die. She wanted her daughter to live! Wasn't a mother supposed to protect her daughter?"

"Hold on." Spirit was about to rush out of the Death Room. She stopped. Lord Death needed to say something. It was a bad idea to run out on the Grim Reaper. "Think about what you're doing. You could win against a witch with one blow."

Spirit scowled. "That's why I've got to protect Maka! What good is being a Death Scythe if I can't use my power to save my little girl?"

"Your skills aren't being tested out there. Maka's are." No! No! She had to save Maka from that witch! Her little girl could die! "You're her mother. Surely you must understand the situation."

She forced the blades to vanish. Every single protective instinct she had screamed against this, but she had to listen to Lord Death. Her eyes narrowed, and she turned to face the Death Mirror. "Maka. Win this fight and make me proud," she growled.

"There's something odd about this witch," Lord Death said. Spirit glared at the witch. Attractive enough to make someone like Maka's pervert weapon aroused. A stupid witch hat that Spirit _swore_ was there just to be ironic. She rode a pumpkin and kept sending explosions at Maka! No! Spirit watched her daughter fall, helpless to do anything about it. Maka! She was almost off the roof, barely dangling by her scythe! Screaming.

"Come on, baby. Win this for me. Make Mama proud. Please, Maka. You've got to win!" Spirit watched as Maka's weapon transformed back to human and grabbed her by the hand. Then he let go, and Maka fell, fell, fell into a bunch of garbage sacks. Spirit cried. Her baby and stupid Soul were having problems. Maka used to be able to handle him!

Spirit saw Soul's nose bleed. "I only want to be Witch Blair's partner from now on!"

Blair, the pumpkin-riding witch—Spirit wanted to give her the Spirit Chop for messing with _her Maka_—just grinned. "Oh, do you really want me?"

Spirit pumped her fist and glared at the mirror. "You perverted little scumbag! I don't care if you're hot! I thought the deal was that you don't _touch_ my Maka! Not that you stop being her partner! She's a scythe meister, damn it! And she'll be better then Kami!"

She watched. Soul was talking about how great Blair's body was, and Spirit scowled. "I have a good body too! That witch isn't more attractive than me! My boobs are nicer than hers, you hot bastard! And I have a better ass!"

Lord Death promptly Reaper Chopped her head. Not again. That was twice this week! "Maybe it would be best if you just shut up for a while." Spirit scowled. She got to her feet, rubbing her head and glaring at the mirror.

Spirit watched Maka cry. She wanted to go there and comfort her daughter. Maka sobbed and sobbed, and Spirit couldn't go over and say that Mama was there to kick that horrible witch's ass. Maka had lost her partner! What kind of moron was this Soul? Argh! Spirit was crying too, sobbing and trying to prevent the tears from disturbing Lord Death. She wanted to be there and hold Maka. It hurt that she couldn't do that!

Then Soul reached out for Maka. Her daughter grabbed him, just the way Stein and Kami had grabbed Spirit when she was their weapon. Yes! That stupid asshole Soul hadn't abandoned Maka! "Go Maka! Kick some witch ass!" Spirit yelled. She watched as her daughter got the last soul…but why was a cat there? Why didn't Soul become a Death Scythe?

"Just as I suspected," Lord Death muttered.

Spirit looked at Blair and snarled. "You little bitch! You nearly killed my Maka and you aren't even a real witch! Argh! I'm outta here, Lord Death." She glared and stomped out of the Death Room; while she was so proud of her Maka, she couldn't stand the feeling that her baby girl had been put in danger for nothing.

Maka was a lot like Kami. She jumped to conclusions without thinking first. Spirit didn't mind; she was glad that her daughter had such a strong will and work ethic. Not like her. She was so easily distracted by men. She was hopeless!

She drove back home and let out a sigh. Chupa Cabra's had sent her another coupon in the mail. They really wanted to win her back, but that would never happen. Ever.

Someone had delivered a flower arrangement to her front door while she was at work. Spirit grinned. Kami knew that she secretly loved flower arrangements despite her tomboyish personality. Had he sent them? Oh, she hoped her Kami had sent them! Maybe he was coming back to Nevada! She sure hoped so!

They were red and pink roses and bright orange and purple lilies. Wow! Those were her favorites! Spirit read the card: "Hey, Spirit. Hope you're doing okay. I heard you were depressed lately. Just wanted to cheer you up. Franken Stein." Gah! Why was _Stein_ sending her flowers? Was it because of the nosebleed incident?


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the legal copyrights to _Soul Eater_. I was not involved in the production of the anime or manga in any way. This is just for fan purposes and me seeing what _Soul Eater_ would be like with a female Spirit and male Kami.

Author's note: There is some more canon dialog, albeit modified for a female Spirit. Also, Spirit was better able to hide her cheating in this story then in canon; Maka didn't know about Spirit's cheating until the divorce.

-oooooooo-

She couldn't sleep. Spirit had gotten ready for bed, brushing her teeth and donning long green pajama pants and her long-sleeved pajama top that read "DEATH SCYTHE SPIRIT" across her breasts. Maybe it was the five cups of iced coffee she'd had at dinner keeping her awake. She yawned, rubbing at her eyes before getting out of bed and pacing around the apartment.

That damn flower arrangement sat on her kitchen table, mocking her. She'd brought it inside, and it wasn't like Stein had picked flowers she _hated_. But it wasn't from Kami. She didn't know how to feel about the flowers; they were pretty, and Stein had done a nice job choosing them, but Kami hadn't gotten them for her.

She went to grab the photo albums from the living room. On nights like this, which were more frequent then she'd like, Spirit would look at photos of Maka and Kami. God, she missed them. She grabbed the top album, which held the most recent family pictures, and opened it up. It felt different in her hands then usual, but she didn't know why. She always put the most recent family album on top of the stack.

She saw a note in familiar scrawled handwriting attached to the first page. _Hey, Spirit. Sorry for rearranging your photo albums when I broke in today. Do you miss me? I miss you. Franken Stein._

Gah! Stein rearranged her stuff! Now she had to look. Spirit needed to know what he'd done to her albums. She flipped open the first page and saw a picture of a little redheaded girl with pigtails in a blue dress. It was the picture her mama had taken the first day she entered second grade! How had Stein found that album? The next few pictures were of her climbing trees and with her second grade class, but the fifth picture made Spirit pause. A redheaded little girl with pigtails and denim overalls was hugging a younger silver-haired boy dressed all in white. That was taken the first day she and Stein met!

She felt tears start forming in her eyes; for the first time since she and Kami met, she felt the weight of a seven year old girl's promise. She'd been so happy back then with Stein as a friend. Back before he started dissecting her like some kind of monster.

-oooooooo-

_Spirit Albarn was seven years old, and she didn't like not knowing if she was a weapon like Mama yet. Mama was a scythe, a really huge scythe, and Spirit wanted to be just like Mama when she was big! No, better! She wanted to be a Death Scythe! Lord Death was the coolest! He was cooler then Batman!_

_ There were some kids from her class making a circle around a little boy at recess. What did they want? Spirit wondered if they wanted to play with her, but maybe they just liked that boy. Nobody wanted to play with her cause she always wanted to be Lord Death when they played superheroes. Lord Death _was so_ a superhero! And he could kick The Hulk's butt!_

_ "You're a little freak," one of the kids said to the one in the middle. That was a mean word! Spirit's Mama would be so mad if she heard Spirit call someone a freak! She walked up to the group and stared._

_ The one in the middle was all white. He looked sad. Mama always told Spirit to think before she did something. Spirit didn't think. She pushed through the circle. "Don't call him that!" She reached out to take the boy's hand. She wanted to help. Spirit helped good, Mama always said she helped good._

_ Then the next thing she knew, she'd fallen, fallen, fallen into a scary dark place. Where was she? She felt the boy's hands on her. Like he was holding her all gentle the way Mama did, so she felt _safe_. It was like he was hugging her, and she loved hugs!_

_ "You're a weapon," the boy said. His voice sounded all happy. Spirit _pushed_ her way out of the scary place. She looked at him and grinned._

_ "You're a meister." Spirit glared at the kids around them. She yelled, "Stay away from _my meister_!" They ran. Maybe they didn't want to be with the boy? Why? Meisters weren't scary! They were the good guys! They fought Kishin for Lord Death, who was the best good guy ever!_

_ She stuck out her hand for a shake once they were gone. "I'm Spirit Albarn. What's your name?"_

_ The boy didn't take her hand. Awww. What did she do wrong? "I'm Franken Stein." He looked so sad. She hugged him, and he hugged her back. Her soul felt all funny, like there was a _tug_ in it. He needed her. Weapons and meisters needed each other._

_ "Nice to meetcha, Franken! You're my new best friend!"_

_ "Nobody wants to be my friend. I'm a freak."_

_ Spirit shook her head. No, no, she needed Franken for a friend. He felt nice to her. She didn't even have any other friends. Everyone thought she was too weird. "Silly, silly Franken. You're not a freak. You're my meister friend."_

_ He didn't look too happy and she wanted to make him happy. "I've got extra Madness," he said._

_ "Well, that just means you need me!" She wouldn't leave him. Madness didn't mean someone was a bad person. Not really. Right? He was so nice, she felt his soul, it was all nice, nice, made her feel safe. Good meisters had souls like that. Mama always said weapons found the right meisters with safe-feeling souls._

_ "Really?"_

_ "Yeah! I promise. I won't ever, ever leave you for another meister, Franken Stein. You're my new best friend forever! And my meister forever too!"_

_ Mama found them hugging when she came to pick Spirit up. "Who's this, Spirit?" she asked. "Did you make a friend?"_

_ Spirit grinned with pride and hugged Franken closer. He hugged her back, smiling shy like Mama scared him. "Don't take Spirit! She's my weapon!" Franken cried._

_ "Hi, Mama! This is Franken," Spirit said. "He's my meister forever!"_

_ Mama took out a camera from her bag. "Aw! So cute! My little girl's found someone she can play meister and weapon with! Smile for the camera!"_

_ Spirit didn't smile for the camera. She smiled cause Franken was hugging her. All close! He was so cuddly! _

-oooooooo-

Memories were such a pain in the ass sometimes. Remembering how she'd been happy with her only friend made Spirit almost _miss_ Stein. Gah! She didn't know what to think about him! She turned the page. There she was, standing next to Stein at a Halloween party. He'd shown up in her second grade class the day after they met and declared that he was staying with Spirit.

More pictures. She and Stein were together in almost every one, typically hugging or holding hands. One was of her in baby-scythe form, being wielded by Stein as they showed off what they could do. There was a valentine she'd stuck into the album at some point. It was from him.

She moved to the next album. Pictures from her DWMA days. Her arms around Stein and Sid as they posed for the camera. She, Marie, and Azusa were dressed up for their first Death Ball with their meisters. Spirit had on a nice black tuxedo while the other two wore a black dress and a skull-print kimono.

Oh! And there she was at thirteen, fist pumped up and grin on her face as she won the first (and last) annual DWMA pie-eating contest. If she remembered correctly, Azusa had eaten the last piece of chocolate chip pie the night before, and Spirit decided that she must win the pie-eating contest against Azusa as revenge. Stein had been so proud of her for winning.

-oooooooo-

She yawned, feeling herself start to drift off to sleep. Stein showed up in her dreams. They were having sex. Gah! Why did this have to happen to her? She was starting to think she was the victim of a recurring nightmare! She woke up screaming; the Spirit in her nightmare had screamed in pleasure, but _she_ was scared! What had being around goddamn Franken Stein done to her? He really messed with her head!

Her phone was ringing. God. Why? It was too early to be up. Spirit got to her feet, grabbing her iPhone and letting out a groan before she pressed the answer button. Caller ID said it was from the DWMA, so it was probably important. Least she wasn't having the Stein nightmare again. "Hello. This is Death Scythe Albarn," she forced out.

"Are you Ms. Spirit Albarn?" the DWMA secretary lady asked. Kami had taken Spirit's last name when they married. She sighed. Oh shit. Last week, she'd promised Sid that she'd take over his classes whenever she needed to. And now Sid needed someone to teach for him.

"Yeah. I'm Spirit. Is this about Sid and the statue-to-the-forehead incident?" She wasn't happy about this at all. Yeah, she got a job, but Sid was her friend. She didn't want him _dead_!

Spirit could hear a sniff of annoyance at the other end. "Yes. Now, Ms. Albarn, Sid indicated that he wanted _you_ to teach his classes until a new teacher is found. You'll be teaching Class Crescent Moon and following his lesson plans today. Understood?"

Spirit grinned. She'd be teaching Maka's class today! Oh, here was a chance to show off to her daughter just how cool she was! Yes! She didn't want Sid dead, but this was _so awesome_! "I'll be there!" she yelled into the phone. "You can count on me!" She pressed the end call button and dropped her phone on top of the discarded photo albums. Now she had to get ready and look nice for her Maka!

Searching her room yielded no clean pairs of pants. She must have worn them all last week and forgotten to do laundry. Damn. She'd have to wear a skirt. The ones she had hugged her ass better then her pants did and practically clung to her wide, curvy hips. This sucked. She hadn't worn a skirt since the divorce.

Spirit sighed and pulled on a clean pair of black skull print panties and a matching bra. She donned her olive green shirt and black cross tie before putting on a black blazer and knee-length black skirt. Then came her socks and brown loafers. Ugh. She felt so naked in that skirt!

Sid would have his lesson plans at the front desk. She hurried to eat breakfast and brush her teeth, running out the door when she saw that she was late for class. Oh god! She was late! Why did this always happen to her?

She drove to the DWMA and ran into the building soon as she parked. "Hi! I'm the substitute for Sid! I need his lesson plans!" she yelled.

The secretary looked at her and scowled. "You're late, Ms. Albarn."

"I know! I'm so sorry! Just give me his stuff and I'll teach class!" She beat her hands against the secretary's desk, pounding them hard as she could. "Please! I won't be late tomorrow! Promise!"

"Fine."

Sid's attendance clipboard got shoved at her, and Spirit grabbed it. She started to run off to Class Crescent Moon, only stopping when she reached the door. Right, this would be Maka's class! She'd show her precious Maka just how cool her Death Scythe mama was!

She opened the door to a room of noisy teenage meisters and weapons. She sighed. This job would be harder then she'd thought. "All right, kids!" she snapped. She strode into the room. "Quiet down! Class is about to start." She placed the clipboard on the desk and scowled at the lot of them. Spirit stood with her hand in her pocket and barely making eye contact. Cool and nonchalant, right? Maka would be so proud of her! "I'm not gonna bother taking attendance, but I will tell you one thing right now. Anyone who thinks the bell decides when class is over is _wrong_." She dropped the clipboard and gestured to herself. "I do. Clear?"

The students were all looking at her in shock. Hmph. Guess they'd never had her as a teacher before. Her entrance was so cool! Maka _had _to think her mama was cool right now! She grinned. Oh, yeah, life was starting to look good again!

Then Maka's stupid weapon spoke. "What gives, Death Scythe? Are you our new teacher now or something?"

She looked at the attendance sheet, avoiding meeting anyone's eyes. She'd just mark everyone as here. "No, no. I'm just a substitute until they find a permanent teacher to fill Sid's position." She sighed and glared at the students. "But that still means I'm in charge of this class. So as long as I'm here, you will all call me _Professor Death Scythe_," she snarled. She straightened her tie and smiled. "Now. Let's take attendance, shall we?"

"You said you weren't going to take roll!" snapped Maka's weapon. Spirit laughed and waved her hand. So many handsome guys in class! No, bad Spirit, they were her daughter's age or younger!

"I won't for the girls. We're all punctual, right, ladies?" She laughed. "But I think I _will_ for all the handsome men." She grinned, feeling blood trickle down her nose. Dammit, why couldn't she carry tissues at a time like this? Teaching was no time for her to act perverted!

"Dammit, quit being a perv!" Soul yelled. Maka just looked like she was so disappointed in her. Oh, Maka! She'd taken this job so that Maka would think her mama was cool! No! Maka hated her now!

"Oh, gimme a break," Maka growled.

Spirit looked on the sheet for Soul's name. She was tempted to give him a F just because he was her daughter's weapon and she didn't approve of him being a pervert. No, she wanted to be a good teacher, and good teachers didn't fuck up their students' grades. "Fine then. I'll take roll for everyone. And would someone please get me a tissue for my nose? I get really bad nosebleeds sometimes! It'll be the easiest extra credit assignment ever!"

"Get your own tissues!"

Spirit glared at Soul. She still had a nosebleed, dammit. "I didn't bring any tissues! I didn't think I'd have a nosebleed today! Okay! Let's get this class started!" She turned away and pressed her sleeve to her nose. The bleeding didn't stop. Damn! Spirit groaned and rolled her eyes. "Oh, that reminds me. Maka, Soul. Lord Death wants to see you in the Death Room. You're excused from class! As for the rest of you…"

She watched as her daughter and that _horrible weapon_ walked off. "I'm going to the bathroom to get tissues for my nose! Stay right in your seats and don't you dare move!" What was wrong with her? Was she _that_ sexually frustrated that she'd go for Maka's classmates? She wasn't a cougar! Argh. She either needed sex really soon or to work off her sexual frustration some other way.

-oooooooo-

Teaching Class Crescent Moon was a lot harder then Sid had made it sound. She managed to write down her name and the lesson plan on the board, but she kept hearing whistles when she turned around. Dammit! Why hadn't Sid told her there were so many perverts in this class? Spirit wanted to line up the pervs and hit them all with a Spirit Chop!

No. She had to stick to Sid's lesson plan. "Just try to get your wavelengths to match!" she snapped. "That's your lesson. Match wavelengths with a partner. Focus on your souls. And for god's sake, close your eyes and sit across from each other while you do this! That's what the lesson plan said!"

At least the little punks listened to her when she yelled. When class was over for the day, she breathed a sigh of relief. Ah! Now she could get out of there and take a break until the next day. When she'd have to teach class _again_ and hopefully have some pants on this time.

She walked into the Death Room, rubbing at her eyes and yawning. "Lord Death, where the hell is my daughter?" she asked. Lord Death's son and his weapons Liz and Patty were there. Spirit shared a nod with the two young women; they weren't who she'd have chosen for Kid, but she liked them. Patty, with her childlike personality, reminded Spirit of herself at thirteen.

Lord Death looked at her and seemed to have sad eyes. Spirit still couldn't really tell what his expressions were like. "Oh! Hello, Death Scythe! They're off doing remedial assignments!"

"Which assignments?" Spirit growled. If he sent her baby on _any_ dangerous remedial assignment, Spirit would _so_ be unhappy with him.

"She and three other students have to fight meister Franken Stein!" proclaimed Lord Death. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Spirit felt her heart seize up and start beating so fast that she couldn't begin to think. Her Maka was in trouble! No! She couldn't let her baby be in danger of being dissected! What kind of mama would she be if she let Maka get anywhere near Stein?

"Hang on, Maka! Mama's coming to save you from Stein!" She started to transform. Liz tapped her on the shoulder; the sixteen year old girl let out a sigh.

"I've reached my limit of weirdness I'm willing to put up with for one day. Kid rearranged all the furniture so that it was completely symmetrical. _Again_. So please don't go do anything crazy." Spirit forced herself not to transform.

"The chairs were slightly to the right side, and the sofa wasn't perfectly in the middle!" complained Kid.

"Lord Death, please tell me if my Maka dies," Spirit begged. He didn't say anything. Spirit showed herself out of the Death Room and sighed. Poor baby…she needed her daughter safe.

-oooooooo-

Teaching class had been hell. Too many pervs in one class…why had she ever agreed to fill in for Sid whenever he needed her? And her baby had ignored her! Maka was on some mission, and she didn't even call Spirit to tell her how she was doing! This was the worst day in her life since she got assigned Stein as a partner.

She needed something to cheer her up. She felt like her heart was ripping and she couldn't think of how to best spend her time. Bad habits? No, no, she had to be a good mama. But she couldn't think of anything else that would cheer her up!

Spirit _craved_ beer from Chupa Cabra's right now. But she'd made a vow that she was never going back to the damned host club with all those _handsome men_. So hot, so tempting, so _cheating on Kami_. At least there was a nearby liquor store. She hadn't been in it, but maybe she could go buy something to drink.

She took her wallet and walked the two blocks to the liquor store. It looked kind of classy, but she wasn't sure what kind of alcohol it sold. Spirit stared in shock at Blair's human form working the cash register. "Holy shit! You're that magic cat my daughter fought!"

"You must be Maka's mama. I really can't see the family resemblance."

Spirit scowled. She walked over to the cold beer in coolers and picked out a six-pack of canned strawberry-flavored Hard Lemonade. Well, she didn't know what that meant, but the name was interesting enough that she'd give it a try! "I'm buying this," she snapped.

"Oh! We're having a buy one, get one free sale! You can pick out another six-pack of beer, Mama!"

Spirit had intended for the beer to last her the entire week. Drink two today and the rest later. She doubted she could drink as much as she did before quitting Chupa Cabra's host club. But that damn Blair lured her in with a sale. She grabbed another six-pack of the strawberry-flavored stuff she'd picked out and walked back to her apartment.

When she got home, Spirit put her beers in the fridge and pulled out two cans for right now. She took a drink and sighed. Her partnership with Stein was an absolute hell. He used her as a lab rat while she was sleeping! That bastard didn't even _think_ to ask her permission! It made her sick to even think about it!

According to Kami, he'd done it for five years. Ever since Spirit was twelve. The only strange thing Spirit ever noticed back then was that new scars appeared on her body every day; she'd just assumed she was clumsy or cut herself during practice again. If Kami hadn't found out, she'd probably still be the subject of his experiments! That bastard! Stein was mad, but he was a genius. He was able to master any weapon easily if he took an interest in them. But his only interest had been in _her_. She'd considered herself so lucky that her childhood best friend was still her best friend and meister before meeting Kami.

She drank the rest of her beer, moving to the next one. Ah! Her life was so much better now! She knew the liquor store! Soon, she fell asleep on the couch, body not used to so much alcohol after her being sober for a month.

-oooooooo-

Spirit was _so_ worn out from drinking, but she woke up to get ready for teaching anyway. She had to prove to Maka that she was an awesome mama! Her phone rang. God. People _had_ to abolish mornings when she had a hangover.

The caller ID once again said that it was from the DWMA. She sighed. Yawning, Spirit groaned, "Hello. This is Death Scythe Albarn."

"Great news! Your daughter used Witch Hunter twice yesterday!" said Lord Death. Spirit felt pride swell up in her heart. Her Maka had fought Stein and survived! She had such a strong meister for a daughter! Oh, Maka!

"Yes! I knew she could do it!" Spirit sat right up on the couch, hoping that Lord Death had more great news. Like maybe Stein was dead.

"Oh. We found a permanent teacher. Dr. Franken Stein will be teaching at the DWMA in Sid's position. You're no longer needed as a substitute. Bye!"

Gah! Stein! He was going to be near Maka on a daily basis! Spirit felt so pissed! Why didn't Lord Death hire _her_ as a permanent teacher? Spirit would _so_ be a better teacher then Stein!

She was going to visit the DWMA soon and check up on her daughter. Just to make sure that Maka was okay. And maybe she could spend time with her little girl! Good mamas checked on their daughters!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own the legal copyrights to _Soul Eater_. I was not involved in the production of the anime or manga in any way. This is just for fan purposes and me seeing what _Soul Eater_ would be like with a female Spirit and male Kami.

Author's note: Stein's back in the story! Also, I have a female Crona in this fanfic.

-oooooooo-

A week passed with Spirit trying to call the DWMA and say she was visiting Maka. She didn't have the nerve to dial those numbers, though, and so she spent her time in the Death Room. Watching Stein closely. All he ever seemed to do in class was creepily dissect things, roll around sitting backwards in his chair, and make the poor class dissect as well. Lord Death was pissed at her for using the mirror to spy on Stein, but she had to make sure her Maka was okay!

This was gonna be the seventh day of Stein Hell. Well, she'd better get to work soon and see what Stein was doing! Spirit was sitting on the couch, having just woken up at five in the morning and decided to eat breakfast before she dressed.

All the bottoms she had left that was clean were skirts. Damn. This sucked. She picked out a black and white plaid one that was fairly swishy and two inches above the knee. There wasn't much she could do about how it clung to her ass and showed off her wide hips, but most skirts looked that way on her. It would have to do.

-oooooooo-

Her phone rang. The caller ID said that it was from her mama. Oh dear god no! Spirit would have to lie about Kami if her mama ever asked; Phasma Albarn had been _so happy _the day Spirit married her ex-husband. Oh, man, Kami was her ex! This was horrible!

She pressed the ignore button and got her bag together. She needed to get ready for Stein Hell and save Maka! This was no time to talk to her mama!

The damn phone rang _again_. Gah! Mama! This was almost worse then being in Stein Hell! Spirit sighed and pressed the ignore button. She started walking to her car, hoping that this call was just a fluke. No, her mama wouldn't stop at calling once. Even if Spirit _had _picked up the phone, Mama would have just called five times after that. She ignored the phone again and pulled her hair back into a ponytail.

She got in her car—ha! She remembered to duck this time!—and started to drive to work. By the fifth time her phone rang, Spirit figured she should answer her mother's calls. If she didn't, Mama would just call five _more _times. "Spirit, why the hell didn't you answer your phone the first time I called you?"

"Sorry, Mama. I was just getting ready for work. I gotta see Maka now. She's at the Academy and I wanna surprise my little girl!"

She could hear her mama let out a sigh. "I heard you and Kami got divorced. Good. I never liked him. He wasn't good enough for you." What? Why did her mama dislike Kami? Spirit loved him! Kami must have called her mama about the divorce. Gah! Why did these things always happen to her? She parked at the Academy and scowled at her phone.

"He's the love of my life, Mama! I'm a one-man woman, and that man is Kami! I gotta win him back!" Spirit punched her fist in the air. She'd get Kami back, and then the three of them would be a family again!

"Be honest with me. Why did you divorce him if you love him so much? And Spirit, I can tell you're going to have a crying fit. Just let it out."

This was the part she didn't want to talk about. She hid her medical condition from everyone. Her mama wasn't an exception. She felt tears fall to her eyes, and she bit her lip before she said anything. "I cheated on him!" She started to sob. "I'm a bad mama! Such a bad mama for cheating on Kami! Sex twice a month should be enough for anyone! I want him back so bad! I need him!"

"Calm down. You have low odds of getting back together with Kami. He called you a slut when he talked to me about the divorce."

"I _am_ a slut! Kami's right about me! I'm a horrible person! I don't deserve to have someone as wonderful as Kami!"

"Spirit. Stop crying and listen to me. I know about your medical condition." Gah! How did her mama know? This was horrible! She'd hid it, she knew she had! Nobody was supposed to know just what medical condition she had! Spirit let out a low wail. She was a bad person for having a sex addiction problem!

"Mama! Shut up about the medical condition! I don't have to let it run my life! You don't let your OCD or alcoholism run your life, so why should I let _my_ medical condition run mine?" Spirit got out of the car and glared at her phone.

She could practically see her mother rolling her eyes. "I can _treat _my problems, but your condition is harder to manage! Be honest with yourself, Spirit. I know that you have problems with sex addiction. Your medical records say so. I checked them the first time something unusual popped up in your file. You've been completely repressing your sexuality as a way of treatment!"

Yawning, Spirit walked into the Academy, hoping that she'd be able to find Maka soon. She was getting sick of this conversation with her mama. It was pissing her off, reminding her of how she failed as a mother. "So what? Am I supposed to just roll over and accept that I'm a nympho? I've fucked up enough as Maka's mama!"

"Is something bothering you? Tell your mama, Spirit."

Ah shit. How did her mama _know_ that she and the poor students of Class Crescent Moon were currently in Stein Hell? Spirit stopped and sat in a chair near the secretary's office. "Yeah. Stein got hired as a teacher at the DWMA and he's terrorizing Maka's class with dissections. We're all in Stein Hell! I can't even go and see my Maka because if I do, I'll be in danger! He could dissect me, Mama!"

Her mama laughed. "Aw, Spirit, sweetie. You're afraid of Franken? But he was your best friend before you met _that awful Kami boy_."

"Yeah, but…" Spirit didn't really know what to say. He fucking terrified her because he used to experiment on her? "I ran into him at the hardware store while Maka was fighting a stupid cat. Long story. And then he picked me up and carried me to Starbucks after I had a perverted slip-up. Haha, it was kinda nice to be cradled in his arms."

"You like him, Spirit. Remember how you used to say you'd marry him?"

"I was a little girl back then! I've just had these really weird dreams about us having sex ever since we ran into each other! I hate them! They make me wake up uncomfortable!"

"Be honest with yourself, sweetie," her mama said. Spirit scowled. "I know you miss Kami and can't stand being alone. But Spirit, maybe you've got a crush on Franken. You should tell him how you feel. He always liked you."

What the fuck? Her mama had officially lost it! "Bye, Mama! I'll talk to you the next time you call!" Spirit snapped. She stopped talking and hung up, glaring at the screen.

-oooooooo-

She had horrible luck. Maka wasn't in the Academy, and Spirit couldn't see her baby. Her daughter was on an extra-credit assignment, a fact that filled Spirit with pride and fear at once. Oh, Maka! Poor thing…she could be in so much trouble!

They'd put her in a bed in the nurse's office, saying something about how she had to rest before she went into hysterics. At least she could rest for a bit. But now she had to avoid Stein! She couldn't get caught up in Stein Hell!

"I screwed up," she muttered, holding her head in her hands. "Oh, yeah. Maka isn't even at school right now!" Legs spread out on the end of the bed like she was wearing pants, she sighed and slapped herself on the forehead. Why didn't Maka _tell_ her about this? "All this risk for _nothing_. The only place to see Maka is here at the Academy, so I came. Sure. I'm a good mama. I was gonna take her to go dress shopping after school."

She looked around the room. Good. He wasn't here. She'd avoided Stein so far! Spirit's voice dropped to a whisper. "But coming here means I might run into _him_! Franken…Stein! All I wanted was to see my daughter! Instead I'm staring straight in the face of danger!" She had to rescue Maka from Stein! She'd show that she was brave! She pumped her fist and yelled, "But don't worry, Maka. Your mama's not going to back down! I will overcome this obstacle, and when I do, you'll know how much I love you! You'll finally understand!"

Her mind started to drift off as she stood up from the bed. She'd heard that the DWMA hired a hot male school doctor recently. Before she went to confront Stein, she needed the handsome school doctor to heal her wounded heart and give her courage. Oh, yes…Mama was so getting laid!

No, bad Spirit! But she hadn't had sex for over a month, and she started to imagine telling the doctor she needed him. Oh, yes. He'd be so good to her and _so gentle_ as he showed her a nice time in bed. Ah, she could imagine the ways she'd be pleased under the pretense of a checkup! The door opened. Oh! Was that him? She could see the outline of a lab coat and a suit. Hehe! She grinned, eyes lighting up. Ah! He was coming! She would charm the new school doctor! And then they'd have awesome sex! No, no, she shouldn't…but sex was so good!

She adjusted her skirt so that he'd see her silky red panties easily. They had just the right amount of black lace too! Spirit hurried out from her spot and grabbed the doctor's legs. "I've been waiting for you, my angel!" she cried. She nuzzled her head against his legs and grinned. "Hurry now and heal my heart with your sweet, sweet medical lovin'! Kiss my pain away!"

When she looked up, she didn't see the hot male doctor she'd been expecting. Instead, she saw Stein. Gah! She'd just rubbed her head against his legs! Why the hell did she do this? And he could see her panties!

"Hey there, Spirit," he said. Spirit blushed. She felt blood trickle out of her nose as she looked at him. He was so handsome! She pressed a hand to her nose, still feeling the blood trickle out of it as she gazed up at him. "I've been lookin' for you." Some blood trickled from his nose, and she could only blame the Panties Incident.

Gah! Not Stein! Spirit ran to the bed and sat on it. Her skirt rode up so that her panties were visible, and she pulled the blanket over her. What did he want with her? And why did her nose keep bleeding while her heart beat fast and she felt a blush on her cheeks? "I-I don't know what you want with me," she stammered, body starting to shiver in fear. "All the scars from your experiments have finally faded! I'm not afraid of you! I'm not afraid of anything! So there! How do you like that, Stein? You can't scare me anymore!"

"Then I take it you noticed I swapped the middle toe from your right foot with the one from your left foot," he said. Spirit screamed. Her nose stopped bleeding.

"Gah! What, are you nuts?" She pushed the blanket off her lap, not really caring so much about her skirt as she cared about her toes. She took off her socks and shoes, examining the toes on each foot. They looked the same to her! The middle toes were right where they should be! The right one was on the right foot! The left one was on the left foot! "Gah! How could you do something like that to me?"

"Made you look," he teased. She gasped. He _was_ nuts! She stared at him in shock.

"Why did you scare me like that?"

Stein chuckled. "Same old Spirit. You know that little daughter of yours, Maka? She's grown up quickly, huh?" Spirit dropped her foot. She glared at Stein. Hmph. What had he done to her little girl? "She really takes after you, Spirit."

"T-thanks," Spirit stammered.

Stein smiled at her. Spirit blushed and wished she'd thought to bring tissues today. Her nose started bleeding again, and she couldn't keep her eyes off him. He really _did_ have a handsome smile. "I have to be honest, when I heard you and Kami were getting married, I wasn't so sure about it. I thought to myself, 'There's _no_ _way_ this is gonna work out. Spirit's a pervert and a sex addict.'"

Spirit stared in shock. Right, of course he knew about her medical condition. He'd been with her when she got diagnosed. Stein didn't think that her marriage would work because of it? Damn medical condition!

Stein sighed. "But then I watched the two of you together, and you seemed so close that I was reassured," he said. What? Stein had watched them? Spirit gasped. Who was he to make judgment on her marriage? She wasn't his weapon anymore! He laughed, chuckling softly. "And then I thought, 'Those two have found a love that is sure to last forever.'"

Spirit closed her eyes and lay on her stomach. She started crying, small shrieks leaving her mouth before she composed herself. "Um, yeah…about that," she said. "You may not know this yet, but Kami and I…actually got divorced last month." She started sobbing again.

"I know," Stein said. He sat on the bed next to her and rubbed her shoulders. She turned her face to look at him, tears still falling. "Do you want to tell me why?"

"Dammit! I'm gonna kill you, you heartless bastard!" She let out a sob and tried to punch him. She hit the pillow; he must have moved. He kept rubbing her shoulders, and she screamed.

"Come on, Spirit. You can tell me why you and Kami divorced. I'm here for you."

"It was my stupid medical condition! I didn't use enough self-control! I tried to control my medical condition with repressing my sexuality this past month, but it's _so hard_! I need Kami back! I can't stand being alone and not being loved!"

Stein pulled her off her stomach, settling her on his lap. They hadn't held each other like this in over a decade, but she couldn't help but feel herself start to calm down. She'd always been comforted best when someone held her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and he hugged her close as she cried. He ran one of his hands through her long hair, taking it out of her ponytail. She blushed as he wrapped his arms back around her torso and she scooted closer to him. Franken might not be much of a hugger, but he'd learned how because of her.

"Hey. Calm down, Spirit. I don't think it's healthy for you to repress your sexuality," he said. She nestled her head against his neck. "You wouldn't be Spirit without that part of your personality. It is, however, possible to direct those urges towards one lucky man. Someone who accepts that you're a pervert and doesn't mind his girlfriend acting like that towards him."

She blushed and looked into his eyes. "F-Franken…Kami called me a whore. He didn't think my sex addiction was a real problem. Is the medical condition just a fancy way of saying I'm a slut?"

He rocked her in his arms and shook his head. She ducked to avoid the huge screw hitting her. "Spirit, you hate being alone and you need to feel loved and be touched. It's only natural that you got addicted to the way sex fulfilled all those needs."

"It's not just the emotional needs that get fulfilled. I just really love being fucked. Sex feels _good_." She hated to admit it. But she'd never been able to lie to Franken easily. They'd known each other too long. He smiled at her, and she felt her heart start to beat faster and a blush form on her cheek.

"I know." He gently kissed her on the lips. It wasn't much, by Spirit's standards, just a light, soft brushing of his lips against hers. But it was enough to make her lips still feel hot where he kissed her after he pulled back. She blushed and got off his lap, sitting next to him. What had he just done? Why the hell did he kiss her? Did he want to be friends again? Why was she blushing?

She had to brush it off and let him think she didn't feel her heart flip and beat fast because he kissed him. She had to put him in the Friend Zone. Otherwise things would be...complicated between them.

"Silly Franken! You didn't have to kiss me to prove your point! You're my best friend!" she cried. "I'm sorry! I broke my promise to be your weapon forever!"

Franken smiled at her. "You have no idea how much I missed you."

Spirit hugged him. "I missed you a lot too! Even if you _did _dissect me in my sleep!" Something in her soul she hadn't known was missing for fourteen years seemed to slide back into place. Her heart still beat too fast, hammering against her chest.

He sighed. "Oh, yeah. One other thing. This wasn't just a friendly visit, much as I'd have liked it to be. It seems that the demon sword has turned up," he said.

Spirit stared. Her eyes narrowed. "What? You didn't tell me this _before_?"

"You needed me to take care of you. Like you always have." He pulled out a box of chocolate Pocky and tossed it to Spirit. "Here, Spirit. Have a snack while we go look for the demon sword. I got this just for you." She opened the box and munched on a stick, grabbing him with her free hand. They had to find the demon sword!

"Hey, I'm the weapon who learned impulse control for her best friend!" She grinned up at him. Franken snatched a piece of Pocky from her.

-oooooooo-

"I sense your daughter's wavelength in this church," Franken said to her. "She needs our help." Maka had gotten in trouble at her extracurricular assignment? No! As Maka's mama, Spirit _had_ to save her!

"Maka! Mama's coming to save you!" she yelled. She dropped the empty box of Pocky to the ground and crushed it with her foot.

He grabbed her hand and smiled. "Let's go, Spirit!"

Spirit grinned at him. She could feel his comfortingly familiar wavelength start to resonate with hers; she closed her eyes and started to send her wavelength to resonate with his in return. It didn't take long, not like she did with Kami; Franken's wavelength was familiar, warm, and comforting for her to feel resonating in time with hers. "Ready!" She transformed into her scythe form, the darkness where she fell now familiar. His hands were on her shaft, holding her tight. She focused.

She had a daughter to save! Her meister stabbed her durable blade through green church doors, and she was cutting through human flesh in one slice. She cut through a small young woman—Spirit couldn't sense souls as well as her meister, but she'd always known what gender someone's soul was—with short light purple hair wearing a black dress. Maka was cowering in fear of the other girl; her stupid weapon was on the ground before her. He wasn't moving.

The strange girl gasped. Spirit thought she'd killed her! "Huh? What's this? What's happening? How did that get there?" She kept staring at Spirit's blade.

Maka was looking at her and the strange girl-cut-in-half in confused shock. Franken kicked the door down, staring into the room. "Professor Stein!" Maka cried. Spirit grinned. They made a badass team. The strange girl seemed to run to the back of the church; Spirit couldn't understand why Franken's opponent wasn't already dead. What was wrong with that girl? Was she even human?

Franken dropped her, and Spirit transformed back to human. She stood in front of Maka, eyes narrowed as she watched her strong meister. He was placing his stitched lab coat over Soul, and Spirit watched with a soft smile on her face. Her meister cared about Maka's partner. All Spirit had cared about was saving Maka.

"Professor Stein, is Soul all right?" Maka asked. She sounded shocked; poor thing had lost her weapon. Spirit would gladly serve as Maka's temporary weapon if her daughter needed to fight, but she knew that she belonged to Franken. Even though she was now a Death Scythe, he would always be her meister.

He examined the wound and let out a hum of discontent. Uh-oh. Spirit _knew_ that low _hmm_ sound. It was the noise he made whenever someone was badly hurt. Usually her. "His wound's very serious. If we don't get him treatment soon, he might not make it."

Maka wasn't even looking at Spirit. That didn't matter. Spirit eyed the church pews and then looked back to Franken. "I gotta say, though, that was an easier fight then I expected," Spirit said. She watched as the purple-haired girl got up, holding onto a black sword. Was that the demon sword? Spirit honestly didn't know. She just knew that something was off about the girl's wavelength. There was a hint of _weapon_ in it when she knew the girl had to be a meister.

The sword had transformed to a black, masculine-looking shape that was attached to his meister. Spirit looked in shock, unwilling to take her eyes off the enemy. She couldn't let her guard down. Just because she could turn her arms into scythe blades didn't mean she wanted to fight without her meister!

"Professor Stein?" Maka asked. Spirit watched as Franken turned towards Maka. She nodded to him, eyes still narrowed. Something was definitely _wrong_ with that poor meister and her weapon.

"Eh?"

"Who are those two? Or _what_ are those two? I've never seen anything like this!"

He took his cigarette out of his mouth and pointed to the girl. Spirit followed his finger, not knowing why he was so concerned with their opponent. "_She_ is the reason the Academy was created."

"You mean…she's a Kishin?" Maka asked.

Franken shrugged. "Not yet. But she's one step away from becoming one." He got to his feet, rolling his shoulders as he grinned at Spirit. "All right, then," he said. "Let's take care of this, shall we? Ready, Spirit?"

Spirit grinned back. "Yeah!" She transformed into scythe form again, and he caught her with his hands spread apart on her hilt. Oh, yeah. She _knew_ this stance! He placed her in his right hand, stepping his left foot forward.

"Spirit, can you stand against the demon sword?" he asked. Spirit grinned.

"Of course I can," she laughed. "What do you think I am, some kind of rusty old dagger?" She looked up at him and smiled. "Been a long time, hasn't it? Since we teamed up like this?"

He grinned at her. "Heh. We aren't as young as we used to be, that's for sure." He was right. But they were still Stein and Albarn, the DWMA's finest. They could kick the demon sword's ass!

The girl started to run towards them, sword held high. Spirit hadn't heard a lot of that girl's conversation with her weapon, but she did know that the girl was named Crona. The weapon had called her that when he declared it was time to attack.

"I've never seen a man with a screw in his head before! I don't know how I'm supposed to deal with a guy like that!" she cried. Spirit needed to watch the demon sword. She narrowed her eyes at the other weapon, not willing to let it leave her sight.

"You eat him! Swallow his soul!" snarled the demon sword. Spirit gulped. She couldn't let Franken lose! He was _her meister_!

Crona kept running at them until she swung her sword in an obvious attack. Franken used Spirit to block. She attacked again; still, Spirit was used to block the swing. Oh, Spirit knew this trick of her meister's! She heard the demon sword start to vibrate and panicked. This could _not_ be good!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own the legal copyrights to _Soul Eater_. I was not involved in the production of the anime or manga in any way. This is just for fan purposes and me seeing what _Soul Eater_ would be like with a female Spirit and male Kami.

Author's note: The fight with Crona concludes, and Medusa makes her appearance! Spirit's perfectly capable of being serious when she has to. It's just not something she really likes.

-oooooooo-

The demon sword vibrated and let out a screech. Spirit wanted to warn her meister, but he swung her to block. He threw Crona over his head, the little girl screaming and screaming in shock; Spirit watched as Franken crouched, hand positioned to attack with his soul wavelength. His hand started to crackle with energy from his wavelength, and Spirit shot some of her wavelength at him as reinforcement. "Soul Force," he growled, slamming his hand down on Crona's chest.

Crona screamed. Her whole body seemed to shake, head falling back as she coughed up black blood. Ha! Spirit's meister was winning! His hand crackled with the energy of his wavelength; Spirit sent more of her energy to boost Franken's wavelength, narrowing her eyes at the girl. "Have another," Franken snarled. He was ready to attack, Spirit could feel it, but then she felt him get injured. She turned to look around, and some of Crona's black blood had stabbed her meister. No! What was this?

He grunted in pain. "That's the blood from the wound we gave her," he said. Spirit didn't like feeling him injured. He got to his feet, and Spirit scanned the room for more danger. What was with that Crona girl?

Droplets of Crona's blood hardened in the air, white eyes forming. "Many needles," buzzed the blood; several hard needles burst out from where Crona lay. Spirit gasped. What was this? Franken leaped back, falling to his knees as he panted.

She could feel that he was injured. Oh no. She couldn't lose him! "Franken! She's using every drop of her blood as a weapon!" Spirit growled. "How is this even possible?" She sent a healing wavelength through his soul, concentrating on fixing the worst damage.

He stood to his feet, never dropping her for an instant. She relaxed into his warm, comforting grip. The black blood surrounded them, so she couldn't snuggle up against his hands again; she forced herself to focus.

"When souls are overhunted, a demon sword is created. We have to stop her here and now, or she will definitely become a Kishin. What's more, the balance of power between these two is uneven. The weapon's soul is more dominant. It rules over his meister's more introverted soul, confining it. For now, she still has some strength to fight back against her weapon. But if she should get completely swallowed up, things will get dangerous."

She sighed. "I like the challenge. But that Crona girl reminds me of my Maka. I'm not sure I like fighting her."

"Spirit, focus. There's something else. I see a snake coiled around her. What's it doing there?"

She didn't know, but she watched as Crona was poked and prodded by her scary weapon. She couldn't think of Crona as a girl in need of help; this was an enemy meister. "It looks like she's off guard. Go now!" Her meister charged. Leaped over the blood, dodging when it attempted to hit him. Nice work! She'd forgotten how agile he was! He let out a grunt of exertion as he ran faster, and she wanted to send out wavelengths to make him feel better.

Crona struck with her sword; Franken swung Spirit around to guard, nearly knocking Crona's sword out of her hands. The younger meister screamed and swung her sword around again. Spirit blocked the attack with her blade. So this was the technique her meister was using. She wouldn't be used to attack; she'd be used to defend him. She liked being his protector when he used this technique. It made her feel like she had the power to take on anything that threatened her meister. Crona kept swinging the demon sword directly at them, and Spirit blocked until she felt Franken prepare to fire his soul wavelength at their enemy.

His hand crackled with energy again. Spirit reached out and _concentrated _on making sure his wavelength didn't lose too much energy. "Soul Force!" Crona seemed to fly through the air, falling outside the door where Maka still crouched. Franken hadn't been this good with Soul Force when they were still partners, but he'd relied on her to attack more often.

The black blood formed needles again, and her meister jumped out of the way, managing to land at the door. He panted like he was hurt, and Spirit felt his soul notice his injuries. "Damn. A time-lag attack," he muttered. Spirit could smell blood. It seemed like it was coming from him. No, no, no, she wasn't going to lose him to a Kishin!

She yelled, "Dammit, Franken! Pull yourself together. We can beat her! We've fought way stronger Kishin before!"

The strange weapon taunted, "It's time to die, screw-head!" Oh no. Spirit bit her lip. She could stand against the demon sword, but she couldn't stand hearing her meister threatened!

One of those stupid black blood needles—damn, she was starting to get sick of those—headed straight for her meister's face. He couldn't bring her up to guard in time, glasses falling off and shattering. She could smell the blood as it ran down his face. "I think I'd like to dissect you now," he growled.

Could he even see anything without his glasses? Spirit didn't know how bad his eyes had gotten in the years since they'd last been meister and weapon.

The weapon shrieked and looked at them. "Screw yourself! You're not gonna live that long! That mouthy scythe bitch's going first! She cares way too much about you, screw-head!"

Franken's wavelength burned with anger right after the demon sword opened his mouth. Spirit tried sending him calming wavelengths, just enough to make him able to focus on fighting the demon sword. She cared about Franken. He was her best friend. That shouldn't make him angry! She was just trying to protect him! "Calm down. We won't win if you're trying to avenge _me_. I'm your weapon, Franken. I'm prepared to die protecting you."

Her meister gripped the Death Scythe tighter, and she understood what he needed from her. "You ready?"

She grinned and winked at him. "Yup!"

He spun around, holding her in both hands. Her job was to protect her meister by deflecting any and all projectiles. Spirit readied herself. The black blood needles started to come at them, and she felt her scythe-self get whirled around Franken's head. Droplets of black blood kept coming at them; her swift blade blocked each one. Then she saw the blood form needle-shapes and heard the buzzing whine of, "Many needles!"

"Franken. Now," she snapped. He jumped back, slamming her on the ground and gripping her tight. She closed her eyes and pushed out with her soul to protect him; she felt their wavelengths entwine and solidify into a protective shield.

"Spirit Body," he barked. She opened her eyes, seeing them surrounded by a golem with screws in its head and each flailing arm. The black blood needles hit, but Spirit wouldn't let the protection fade. Her wavelength pushed against the black blood, and she concentrated only on protecting him.

"You always did like that defensive technique," she said.

He chuckled. "I'm going to put you down for a while to attack. Can you handle that?"

Her eyes closed. She let out a sigh; his direct wavelength attack had always been her least favorite. It meant he stopped holding her and she was left in the dark alone. But she couldn't hold him back from stopping the demon sword! "I'll do my best. You remember our usual deal for when you stop holding me in a fight?"

"Of course." He dropped her to the ground; she felt the shield around them vanish. Spirit opened her eyes, staring straight at Crona and her weapon. Franken wasn't there, but that was okay. Even with these direct wavelength attacks, he never really abandoned her.

"Huh? Where'd the screw-head freak go?" the demon sword asked. "I don't see him! Where the hell _is_ he? Dammit…"

Spirit looked up, seeing her meister spin in midair and drop. Okay. Time to start boosting his wavelength with hers so that he could use Soul Force without straining himself. He might have an unusually flexible soul, but Franken still needed her. She was his _weapon_. She concentrated on resonating her wavelength with his, her soul snapping in place easily. He kicked Crona in the head; the girl seemed dazed and confused, staring into space before her. _Now_, Spirit thought.

He started to charge forward, hands crackling with the energy of his wavelength. "Double Palm Soul Force! Twin Spear!" he snapped, planting his hands against Crona's chest. The girl tumbled, falling backward as droplets of her blood spilled on the ground.

Spirit could hear Maka gasp behind her. "Needles again?" It better not be. Spirit would protect her daughter and her meister even if she died. She was prepared to transform back to human, grab Maka and Franken, and run.

Franken picked her up from the ground, gripping her tight almost like she was getting a hug. She felt better. Being alone in the darkness of her scythe-self was horribly lonely. "No. It's over now. I hate to say it, but you're finished," he said. He raised Spirit like he was going to strike, but suddenly Crona's hands twitched. She let out a scream, spitting up blood as needles made of her own blood stabbed her.

Every maternal instinct in Spirit wanted to comfort the poor girl. She didn't know what was happening. Why was the blood stabbing her? Hearing her screams was the worst. Even if she was meister to a strange demon sword and almost a Kishin, Crona was still _someone's little girl_. The Death Scythe wanted to transform back to human so that she could pick up Crona, give her a hug, and tell her that Mama Spirit was there to make it all okay. She looked at Franken. "What's happening to her?"

"She's going through soul rejection."

Maka let out a gasp of surprise. "Their soul wavelengths were united, but now they're falling apart."

Just as she was about to transform back to human, Spirit felt a strange, powerful female soul suddenly appear. What was going on?

"It's another soul!" cried Maka. "I don't know where it came from, but I can sense it!"

"I can feel it too. It's a witch," Franken said. Spirit let out a snarl. _Witch_. No wonder the soul had felt so strange; she'd never been like Franken, who could easily identify souls, but she had rudimentary soul perception. No way was she leaving her scythe form until the witch left! As a Death Scythe, she had to make sure that the witch was killed and her soul consumed!

He got into a fighting stance, his grip on her tight as he prepared to face the witch. Maka looked like she was shaking. No. Her daughter was afraid! And what about her weapon? Soul couldn't have that much longer to live! Spirit roared, "Hang on, Maka. Mama's gonna protect you!"

Franken and Maka kept staring at the air. Spirit couldn't really see anything, not being a meister, but she knew when Franken was worried. "A witch, huh?" she asked.

"Yes, and one with a strong soul. She's very powerful. My guess is she's the one who put the weapon inside that girl's body, too."

"That's the witch's soul up there?" Maka sounded terrified. Spirit wanted to shift back to human and hold her daughter. She knew that she had to stay a scythe so that she could be useful. "B-but how? I should've felt a soul like that before now! It's incredibly strong!"

"Soul Protect," said Franken.

Spirit looked at her daughter, shivering and scared. "What's that?" Oh no…she'd only heard that small, scared voice from her daughter a few times. Maka was braver then she'd ever be. Her daughter. Crona. Both of them were hurt, scared little girls; Spirit _needed_ to hold them and promise that Mama was always there to protect them. She felt tears come to her eyes. How could she be a Death Scythe, yet so helpless to comfort her Maka?

"It's advanced magic. Not all witches can use it. The technique encloses the area around the soul with magic. This blocks the soul's wavelength. The witch is camouflaged, and her soul appears to be that of a normal human." He sounded just like he did when he was teaching about dissection during Stein Hell Week. Nothing good could come from the lecturer-voice; Spirit knew _that_ from watching the dissections. What had he been learning in those fourteen years when she wasn't his weapon? She'd never heard of magic like this before!

"S-so that's the s-soul of a real witch? Mama? Did Papa defeat something like that in order to turn you into a Death Scythe?"

"Yeah. Your papa was brave enough for both of us. I was as scared of the witch we defeated as you are now. It's gonna be okay. Mama's got you. You're my brave, wonderful little girl and I _promise_ I won't let that scary witch near us."

The witch looked at them and smirked. "Pathetic. Crona is such a weakling. I'll have to punish her later." She started chanting, and shivers ran down Spirit's spine. "Nake, snake, cobra, cobra…nake, snake, cobra, cobra…" If that witch hurt Maka, Spirit would fucking kill her! Nobody hurt her daughter! "But before I go, I should punish you, too. Wouldn't that be fun?" Spirit watched as the witch's eyes lit up and she pushed her palms forward. "Vector Arrow!" Strange black arrows came towards them, shooting from the witch's palms.

Franken wasn't even concerned; he just stood with Spirit in hand, waiting for the right moment to attack. The arrows came closer, and he got into a fighting stance, switching his grip on her. He spun her around one-handed, whirling her through the air, and she knew. Spirit grinned at Franken. She could feel his soul opening for resonance, and opened hers in return. "Let's go!" they yelled. "Soul Resonance!" He was going to prepare Witch Hunter, so Spirit pushed her wavelengths to wrap around his. Her blade felt sharper, longer and more durable, as she spun. The transformation from ordinary scythe to one with energy pulsing around her and a longer, sharper blade came fast. He grabbed her and yelled, "Witch Hunter!"

Franken swung her around, cutting through the black arrows that soared towards them. Spirit could hear Maka gasp behind them; she was surprised too. Spirit had never done Witch Hunter this easily with Kami; they'd had to prepare the skill far longer in advance. The witch, however, just laughed.

"Quite impressive," she drawled. The snake tattoo on her arm started to _move_. It left her arm, and Spirit watched in horror as the tattoo's head became a giant, fanged snake. The snake scooped up poor Crona in its jaws. Phew! The damn thing wasn't getting Franken or Maka! But it got Crona! The witch shouldn't be hurting Crona!

"I just dropped by on an errand. Who would have thought that I'd run into the DWMA's legendary meister? And Death Scythe, too. What an unexpected pleasure." Spirit _hated_ being called "Death Scythe" by anyone who wasn't Lord Death, even though it was her title. Her _name_ was Spirit Rose Albarn! She glared at the witch, tempted to shout her name, but she knew that was a bad idea. Damn witch just kept smirking and flying on that stupid broomstick of hers. Poor Crona was still held in the floating snake tattoo's jaws. "I would _love_ to stay and play with you kids, but I'm afraid I can't. Perhaps we can play another time."

Spirit pushed her way out of the scythe, partially leaving its blade. "Hold it, lady!" she yelled.

Franken sent her soothing wavelengths, relaxing her. "Calm down, Spirit. Let's leave her for now. I'm more worried about Soul."

No, Soul was more important. Her meister was right. Franken dropped her to pick up Soul. She had to comfort Maka.

Spirit shifted back to human form and placed a comforting hand on Maka's shoulder. Her baby looked all shook up because of Soul, and Spirit knew that feeling. Maka had tears in her eyes when she turned to look at her; Spirit moved closer. "Mama."

She hugged Maka, surprised joy running through her when Maka hugged back. "It's okay that you were scared. Your partner's injured and that witch was frightening. Mama's got you. Come on. You're safe now. Let's go home, Maka."

Maka stared at her in what looked like awe. "Mama…I didn't know you were that powerful. It took Papa a lot longer to resonate with you during the demonstrations you and he did."

Spirit smiled. "So your mama was cool?"

"Kinda. I didn't know a Death Scythe could get as powerful as you were with him."

She wasn't going to ruin being a cool mama. "Come on, Maka," she said. She picked her daughter up and carried her in her arms out of the church. Maka nuzzled up to her chest, Spirit's strong arms carrying her back to Death City.

-oooooooo-

They got back to Death City, and Spirit didn't like having to report to Lord Death right after Maka's partner had been so badly injured. But she had to. She was his Death Scythe.

She didn't want to leave Franken's side either. He was operating on Soul, but she could easily send him calming wavelengths; worry for him ran through her. She didn't want Franken to get carried away and not operate on Soul properly, and would rather have taken Soul to the hospital. Yet Franken was their best choice, and Spirit would just hope for the best.

Lord Death asked for her report on the situation the moment she walked into the Death Room. Spirit sighed and told him everything she knew.

"Interesting. It seems those two had a pretty rough time of it. How is Soul holding up?"

Spirit closed her eyes. She ran her fingers through hair that was still down from never redoing her ponytail. "Stein is operating on him now. He was hurt pretty bad, but I think he'll be all right."

Lord Death looked at her with disapproval. "A demon sword has surfaced, and it's united with a meister. Actually embedded within her from what you say. And behind it all is a powerful witch. Hmm."

Spirit looked at him nervously. Was he going to Reaper Chop her? God, she hoped not! She'd had enough Reaper Chops over the mirror this past week! He shrugged—at least, as much of a shrug as Lord Death could pull off—and stared at her. "Goodness! It looks like things are getting pretty crazy around here, aren't they?"

Spirit groaned. Why couldn't Lord Death take this seriously? "Um, Lord Death? Don't you think you might be taking this a little too lightly?" He shrugged at her again, and she sighed. Great.

"No," he said. Spirit hit her forehead with her hand. God. Why didn't he take this seriously? She was involved in the damn fight!

-oooooooo-

She and Maka had been waiting by the nurse's office for hours just to find out how Soul was. Spirit had brought Pop-Tarts so that they'd have something to eat; Maka just nibbled on hers. Sitting and waiting was pretty boring, and all Spirit could do was think of how she could've prevented this from happening. If only she hadn't turned to Franken for comfort after telling him about the divorce. If only she hadn't needed to be hugged and held. If only he hadn't kissed her. If only he hadn't given her the box of Pocky. She'd failed her baby girl.

The door creaked open, and Spirit stood to her feet. Maka still sat there; Spirit wondered if she blamed herself too. Probably. "Professor Stein?" Maka asked. Spirit ran a comforting hand through her daughter's hair. She leaned against the wall, wanting to hear what he had to say.

Franken adjusted his lab coat and looked at them in confusion. "Ah. Have you two been waiting out here this whole time? Why didn't you go take a nap or eat or something?"

Spirit grinned. She proudly held up the empty Pop-Tart wrappers. "We did eat, and I made sure Maka napped."

Maka jumped to her feet. "Professor, I need to know how Soul is!"

Spirit saw him hesitate for a second before he smiled so broadly—for him—that she could tell it was fake. He gave them a peace sign and grinned. No. Something was wrong, she knew it, but she couldn't tell Maka. "The operation was a complete success. Once he rests up a bit, he'll be as good as new."

Her daughter's face lit up with a smile. "He's okay! Thank you so much, Professor!" She clasped Franken's hands, looking briefly into the room. "Um…"

"Hm?"

"Would it be all right if I went in to check on him now?" Maka looked nervous, and Spirit knew that Franken was going to lie to her again. He wasn't a good liar; she'd always been able to read his tells.

He smiled again, green eyes lighting up behind his glasses. She'd helped him find his backup pair before reporting to Lord Death. "Sure. That'll be fine."

Maka practically beamed. "Thank you." She ran into the room, closing the door shut behind her.

Spirit walked to the trashcan and threw away her wrappers. She stood against the wall, glaring at Franken. "That's a nice fake smile you're wearing," she said. He lit a cigarette and held it to his mouth. "So tell me what you wouldn't tell Maka. Soul's condition can't really be that good. What is it really?"

He turned to her, blowing a bit of smoke out of his cigarette. "The wound itself is all right after surgery. That much I can say at least. But there is still something that bothers me."

Her blue eyes narrowed. "Go on."

"I'm not exactly certain, but it might be a curse."

She gasped. A curse? No, no, no, Maka had to train Soul to become a Death Scythe! "A curse? What kinda curse is it? Will he be all right?"

He turned his back to her, taking another puff of his cigarette. "The demon sword Ragnarok has black blood. Some of it appears to have gotten mixed in with Soul's blood. I can't say for certain how it will effect him, but I doubt it'll be good."

She felt tears start to run down her face. Small, breathy shrieks escaped her mouth, and she wiped at her tears with her sleeve. "It's all my fault! If I hadn't wasted so much of your time, we could've saved him!"

He held her close, kissing her forehead softly. "Shh. It's okay, Spirit. This isn't your fault." She kept crying, head nestled against his shoulder and arms around his waist.

"Yes it is! We could've gotten there earlier! He wouldn't have gotten hurt by the demon sword! Dammit, Franken!"


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own the legal copyrights to _Soul Eater_. I was not involved in the production of the anime or manga in any way. This is just for fan purposes and me seeing what _Soul Eater_ would be like with a female Spirit and male Kami.

Author's note: More serious Spirit in this chapter! She gives a _long_ speech to Maka, and the two are starting to make up much quicker then canon Spirit and Maka. This is mostly because Spirit hid her cheating so well from her family; as a result, Maka and Spirit were very close until the divorce.

-oooooooo-

Somehow, she'd tripped over her feet and hurt her right ankle real bad. Spirit didn't really know how she'd done that while walking; it wasn't like she was _that_ clumsy. Just because she saw Franken and had been a bit distracted by stopping the nosebleed she got when he smiled didn't mean she had to trip! She'd hobbled to the nurse's office to get her foot checked out, wincing in pain all the way.

Soul was still sleeping in bed, and Spirit had given him a motherly kiss on the forehead. It was the same kind that she'd give Maka; now that she knew he'd tried to protect Maka, he almost reminded her of a son. She stroked his hair back and smiled at him. "Hey. Mama Spirit's here. You did a brave thing, getting injured to protect my daughter. She's like a sister to you, isn't she?" He grunted and squeezed her hand; Spirit laughed.

She pulled the young adult book she'd brought with her from her bag. "I was reading _The Lightning Thief_ to Maka before her papa and I divorced. You want me to read it to you? Because if you're like a brother and best friend to Maka, I'm your mama too." Soul grunted again. Well, that meant yes! Spirit clumsily hobbled to sit down in the chair next to his bed. She opened up the book and began to read.

-oooooooo-

Doctor Medusa walked into the room, looking at Spirit and shaking her head. "Hello, Spirit," she said. The doctor motioned to the room's second bed, and Spirit reluctantly hobbled to it. The Death Scythe hated to leave Soul alone for her own damn problems. She'd just started reading chapter three to him! "Didn't expect to see you in here this late at night."

The DWMA had hired Doctor Medusa three months ago after going through a series of school nurses who quit for various reasons. Everyone seemed to love Doctor Medusa; Spirit personally thought she was okay.

"Hi, Doctor Medusa!" She shot Medusa a grin and took off her right loafer and sock.

Medusa rolled her eyes and laughed. "I take it you've got a problem with your foot." She touched it with gentle hands, and Spirit winced. Ow ow ow! Her whole right foot started to throb and she bit her lip to stop the pain. "It's not broken, but you _did_ badly twist and bruise it. Really, Spirit. How did you manage this?"

Spirit blushed. "I fell. Landed real hard and then found out that my right foot was in pain." She'd never say it was because of Franken and her nosebleed for no reason just because he smiled at her. Doctor Medusa went to get heavy-duty painkillers and Spirit's medical file, clicking her tongue as she pulled out the fat folder. Spirit felt embarrassed by it; a great deal of her file was taken up by incidents she could trace back to the medical condition.

"All right. Let's go over your medical history before I get you anything, shall we? I've noticed something in there that seems…irregular," Medusa said.

The Death Scythe grinned at Medusa. "Okay! Ask away!" She leaned back against the pillows and tried to keep her right foot comfortable. Ow! It felt like someone was striking her foot with sharp, stabbing knives! Lots of them!

The file was opened toward the beginning. Medusa looked her in the eye. "Okay. It says here that you were diagnosed with sex addiction when you were sixteen. What kind of doctor would view average teenage hormones as _sex addiction_?"

Spirit groaned. She should've known that Medusa would question her about the medical condition. Her diagnosis at such an early age _wasn't _normal at all. "Look, Doc. I had sex for the first time when I was sixteen. Then for the next couple of months, I fell really behind in my schoolwork and missions because all I could think about was sex."

Medusa laughed at her. "I'd say there's nothing wrong with a teenage girl wanting sex!" Damn. Nobody but Franken believed her about the medical condition! She really wished she were just an alcoholic instead. It would make her life somewhat easier, since alcoholism was more understood.

"I was one of the DWMA's finest weapons! I had a great partner! And then after I had sex for the first time, I couldn't manage to _care_ about anything else. I did crazy shit just to get sex. So my partner took me to the doctor, and I got diagnosed with my medical condition." She scowled and shook her head. God, she hated the medical condition.

Her foot wasn't feeling better, but she wanted to get out of there. She didn't want Medusa questioning her about the medical condition anymore. Besides, Maka would come in soon; Spirit wanted to talk to her on the roof. "You're not taking any medications for sex addiction right now, so it's safe to give you these," Medusa said. She handed Spirit a paper cup full of water and two pain pills. Spirit put the pills in her mouth and gulped down the water; her foot didn't stop hurting immediately, but she trusted modern medicine.

Ugh, her head felt all fuzzy, even more then usual. The doctor handed her a bag of painkillers labeled "2 pills/hour—don't forget, Spirit, you spaz!" She hated that, but at least Medusa cared enough to remember her meds.

-oooooooo-

She'd waited for Maka to enter the nurse's office before bothering to stand against a nearby wall. Her plan was simple and poorly thought out, but she hoped her little girl would need Mama.

She wanted to hold and comfort Maka because of the fight. More than that, she wanted to rock Soul in her arms and tell him he'd be okay. She knew what he saw when he looked at her: A bad mother and a pervert. It hurt. She'd do better by him and by Maka, and she'd show them how good of a mother she was! Then they'd finally understand!

Maka stood with her back against the door, looking so sad. She held a bag in one arm that Spirit was fairly sure been intended as a gift. Maka really did think of Soul as a brother, didn't she?

Poor baby…Spirit just wanted to comfort her about Soul. It wasn't Maka's fault that he got hurt; it was Spirit's. She carefully walked towards her daughter, not willing to overdo things with her numb right foot.

"Mama?" Maka looked at her in surprise.

Spirit smiled softly at her and shrugged. "Come up to the roof with me. We can watch the sunset." She tugged at her skirt nervously, trying to pull it down as she grinned.

She reached out her hand, and Maka hesitated before taking it. "Okay…"

-oooooooo-

She stood next to Maka and pointed to the snoring, drooling sun. "Hahaha! Look at that, Maka! See how ridiculous the sun looks trying to fight off sleep? Pretty funny!"

Maka just hummed softly and looked away from her.

This wasn't going well at all. She'd thought bringing Maka to the roof so they could watch the sunset would give them some mama-daughter time to bond. She finally had a chance to talk to Maka and she didn't have a clue what to talk about! The way the sun looked was a pretty lame topic!

Her daughter pulled out a book. Spirit groaned. Maka was bored with her! She had to say something quick! Something clever, something funny…why couldn't she think of the right thing? God, she was such an idiot! Maka kept reading because Spirit couldn't think of something good to say fast enough!

"Hey," she said. "You shouldn't be reading in this light. It's bad for your eyes." Maka just looked at her, narrowing her eyes in irritation. Really? Did she just start off by lecturing her daughter? Gah! Why did Spirit have to say that? Maka _never_ listened to that lecture, no matter how many times she'd given it! She had to say something cool!

Maka closed her book. Looked up at Spirit with this sad expression in her eyes. "Hey, Mama." Spirit turned toward her and smiled. Maka acknowledged her! This was great! "How do you feel about Papa? Be honest."

She couldn't show any hesitation. She laughed and grinned broadly. "Silly Maka! That's easy. I love him, of course."

"Then how come you cheated on him that time?" Maka sounded so sad…Spirit needed to hug her and say that she shouldn't have _ever_ cheated. Her daughter only knew about the time that led to divorce; the Death Scythe had been quite careful to hide cheating from her family until Kami found her. She wished she hadn't given in to her sexual urges.

Once or twice a week was what she'd allowed herself. She tried to manage her medical condition the way she managed her alcoholism. There was a time when she tried to have sex daily, but she ran out of excuses and didn't want Kami to get suspicious. Cutting back was awful. She hated it. But she resisted because she didn't want to ruin her marriage. And now it was over! All because she screwed up! Oh, yeah, she shouldn't have been unfaithful to her beloved Kami!

She didn't know what to say about her cheating. Instead, she paused. One second of hesitation was one too many! Maka just turned to look at her book! No! She was being ignored again! That was way too much suspicion! Oh, yeah! Now she was in trouble! Now everything that came out of her mouth would sound suspicious! She forced herself to concentrate on the sun. It didn't seem that funny anymore. Her heart sank.

But she had to hang in there. She couldn't run away from this; she had to stand and face her daughter like a grown woman. Spirit took a deep breath and forced herself to count to ten in her head so that she could calm down.

She stopped looking at the sun and placed her hand on the railing as she turned to grin at Maka. "Hey. Don't you think it's getting chilly? It's September, you know. Maybe we should head inside, huh?" Dammit! She'd avoided Maka's question!

Maka let out a sniff. "Already? But we just got here." She closed her eyes. Spirit felt ashamed of herself. She hadn't tried hard enough to tell Maka she loved her and Kami!

She walked toward Maka and placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder. She was such a horrible mother! Why hadn't she answered Maka about the cheating? "Listen, Maka. Mama loves you and Papa more then anything the world. And that's the truth." Tears started to form in her eyes, falling down her face. "It is the truth! It is the truth! I swear it's the truth, Maka!"

"Then why did you cheat on him? Cheating is _wrong_, Mama!"

She had to tell the truth about her medical condition. Man up and face her daughter. It was a good thing she'd given Maka the sex talk before she and Kami got divorced. At least Maka would know what she was talking about. She sighed. "L-look at me, Maka sweetie. I…have a medical condition. It's called sex addiction, or nymphomania, and _I know_ that it sounds like I'm making this up." She started to cry.

Maka looked at her and smiled softly. "I believe you. You're a bad liar, Mama." The past month had been hard on both of them; Spirit could see it now. Maka had always loved her. They'd been so close before Kami divorced Spirit.

"Y-your Papa didn't. I've been trying to control it, I really have, but it's so hard to resist handsome men! Especially when they offer me sex! It's like I can't resist. Sex feels _so good_, and I love it so much, and so I cheated on your Papa even though I love him and you more then anything in the world!"

Maka dropped the book and hugged her. Spirit bent down to Maka's height, hugging her back. "Mama…I'd thought you cheated because you hated us." Spirit hugged her daughter tight. Maka believed her! She felt so happy! Joy bubbled in her chest, and she kissed Maka's forehead. "I didn't ever see you and Papa use Witch Hunter as fast as when you and Professor Stein did it. It was like you anticipated his moves before he made them. You're that strong?"

Oh. Maka wanted to talk about the fight against Crona. Spirit shrugged and smiled at her daughter. "It was always a bit difficult resonating with your Papa. His wavelengths were a bit hard to match at first. Your professor's different…he's always been the easiest meister for me to resonate with," Spirit admitted.

"Mama? Would you tell me more about the demon sword Ragnarok?" Spirit stood to her feet, Maka reaching out to squeeze her hand. She squeezed back, looking to her daughter with a smile. Some wounds would take longer to heal, but she was just glad that Maka still loved her.

She sighed. This wasn't going to be a pleasant story to tell. Her eyes closed. She tried to figure out how to tell Maka, but figured she couldn't sugarcoat the truth. Her little girl was a meister. She had a right to know. "Long ago, meisters and weapons worked together under Lord Death to maintain peace and order. It's the same thing you're being trained for. No meister and weapon pair was allowed to collect the soul of a human being for any reason whatsoever. We still have that rule, and now it seems as natural to us as breathing."

Maka glanced at her. Spirit nodded, closing her eyes. Her foot was starting to hurt again, but the dull throbbing pain wouldn't bother her until it got worse. "A human soul increases a weapon's ability and power the same way a Kishin soul does, but the price is steep. A weapon that takes a human soul will pay by losing his or her own human heart. Despite the risk, there were meisters who broke that sacred rule. These meisters feared death above all else. Their constant battles left them frightened and broken. They took to hunting human souls; again and again, they defied the rule, secretly feeding their weapons the souls of innocent humans. As a result, a Kishin was born into this world."

Spirit's throat was starting to itch from how much she'd said. The pain in her foot began to throb worse; she couldn't ignore it any longer. She slumped down against the wall, unable to keep herself standing. Maka looked at her nervously. "Are you okay, Mama?"

She laughed, softly, but it hurt her throat worse. "I just need some water after this. It's a long speech, and I'm no good at those!"

"Mama!"

"Death Weapon Meister Academy was founded to recover souls that have left their humanity and become potential Kishin. It was also created to train meisters and weapons who were too young to hunt down evil without someone to guide them. Our ultimate goal is to prevent the Kishin from ever being reborn and once again causing terror in the world." She gasped and tapped her throat, grinning at her daughter.

"Oh! I'll get your water, Mama!" Maka ran off, presumably to find the nearest drinking fountain, and soon came back with a large plastic foam cup filled with water. Spirit pulled the bag of painkillers out of her pocket. She carefully took two out and placed them in her mouth before taking a gulp of water and swallowing. Ah! Much better!

"So, the demon sword…" Dammit! Maka still wanted to talk about the demon sword! Just when Spirit thought she was going to be saved from giving another long speech! Maka needed to know. Her partner had gotten hurt because of the demon sword. The pain in her foot slowly numbed; she got to her feet and supported herself on the railing.

"Yeah. It devours human souls. Far as I know, it was melted down by a witch and planted in the body of the meister Crona as black blood. Now the demon sword Ragnarok is only one step away from becoming a Kishin." Maka bit her lip. Spirit gulped down some water and offered the cup to her baby. She groaned. "And it's not just the sword we need to worry about. There are _people_ who could become Kishin as well. And Soul's body now contains black blood."

God. Why did she have to give a long speech that probably totally depressed her daughter? She wasn't normally like that! Gah! What was _wrong_ with her today?

"Mama…can I talk to you about something? While we're letting our secrets out?" Maka's eyes were sad, tears seeming to well up in them. No, no, no! Spirit would hurt whoever made her baby girl cry! As Maka's mother, she needed to protect her daughter.

"Sure! Mama's always here for you!" Spirit brought her finger to Maka's nose and giggled. "Boop!" Maka laughed softly through her tears.

She looked away from Spirit for a bit before letting out a sigh. Spirit _knew_ that noise; she'd made it so many times before over boys. Maka better not be taking after her! Spirit had been downright boy-crazy at fourteen. "Mama, I'm into other girls. I've always been, ever since I started to get my first crushes."

Oh. She didn't know Maka felt that way. It made sense, though. Of course Maka wouldn't be interested in her male weapon! Her daughter was probably girl-crazy! Well, that just meant Spirit would have a daughter-in-law instead of a son-in-law when Maka got married! She hugged Maka and smiled at her. "Maka! You're a brave, wonderful girl. _Any_ woman who isn't abusive or a creepy stalker would be lucky to be your girlfriend. That is, if she likes girls too. I don't _care_ that you're a lesbian. You're my daughter, and I'll always love you."

Maka looked up at her. She smiled softly, blushing a bit. "I was afraid you'd be angry." Oh. She'd been worried that Spirit would be homophobic? Spirit bent down and touched her forehead to her daughter's, nuzzling it softly. She loved her daughter and wanted Maka to be a good scythe meister. If that meant Spirit would have to prepare for Maka inevitably bringing girls home, she was fine with that.

"Homophobia's crazy talk! I want you to be _happy_. Being in the closet won't make you happy. Have you told anyone else?"

"…No."

"Oh, Maka. It's 2013, not the Dark Ages. Come out to your friends. If they're the good people I know they are, they'll accept you."

-oooooooo-

The next day, after she'd gotten a fitful night's sleep, Spirit started getting ready for work. She was planning to check on Maka and make sure her friends didn't ditch her for coming out as lesbian. In case Maka was miserable, though, Spirit had made lunch for her. Okay, she'd ordered Pad Thai with beef and some pork buns from the local Pan-Asian takeout place and put it all in a couple of microwave-safe containers. Takeout made everything better!

She'd managed to find a clean pair of black pants she didn't even remember buying. Unfortunately, they didn't fit the same way as her normal suit pants, clinging to her ass and wide hips. At least she didn't have to wear a skirt again! She managed to pair the pants with her usual black suit jacket, olive green shirt, and cross tie, pulling her red hair into a ponytail after running a brush through it.

The first thing she did when getting to work was check on Maka. Spirit hoped for the best. She saw that her daughter was in front of Class Crescent Moon with her friends. Kid, Liz, and Patty. Black Star and Tsubaki. Soul. The seven of them seemed to be laughing at something, Soul bumping fists with Maka and grinning at her.

"So you like girls? Cool," he said. "We can check them out together."

Black Star just threw back his head and laughed. "Hahaha! Don't be a bigger star then me with the girls!"

"Thanks," Maka said. She looked like she was blushing. Spirit walked toward the group, holding up the takeout lunch as she waved to her daughter.

She handed the lunch to Maka, grinning broadly. "Hey, Maka! Mama brought you some takeout! Takeout makes everything better!"

Maka smiled back. She took the takeout from Spirit, laughing softly. "Thanks, Mama."

Soul looked at her, narrowing his eyes. "Hey! You're Maka's perv mom! What are _you_ doing here?"

Spirit grinned at him, ruffling his hair. "And you're Maka's perv weapon. Listen, I came to check on Maka in case she came out and it didn't go well. But now I see that all I needed to do was bring the takeout. My Maka's got good friends."

Kid looked at her. "Death Scythe, you better not have arranged the food asymmetrically." Ah, shit. Spirit hadn't really thought about that. Hopefully Kid would rearrange the asymmetrical food if there was any.

"Uh, I gotta go. Nice seeing you're such good friends to my daughter! Get to class, okay?" She waved, starting to run out of the hallway when she saw Maka enter class. Unfortunately, she'd forgotten about her previously injured foot and fell face-first into a rolling chair. Ack! Why had she fallen like that? What kinda chair was rolling towards Maka's class? Her head felt like it was spinning, and when she looked up, she noticed Franken sitting backwards on the damn chair she'd smacked her head against. Owwww, her head hurt so damn much!

He reached out a hand, and she took it. She doubted she'd be able to handle standing on her own. This was like getting Reaper Chopped! Fuck! "Are you all right, Spirit?"

"I just ran into your goddamn chair and feel like Lord Death chopped me in the head. This wouldn't have happened if you didn't sit backwards on your goddamn rolling chair!" He pulled her to her feet, and she let out a sigh. Why the hell did she have to be so damn clumsy?

His nose was bleeding; she wondered if he'd smacked his face against the chair when they collided. She knew that _her_ nosebleed was a result of hitting the chair. It certainly couldn't be because she was imagining the muscles under his lab coat! Oh hell no! She could feel drool forming from her mouth. That shirt he wore hugged his muscles _so well_, and she imagined running her hands over them. Bad Spirit! Franken was her best friend! She couldn't act all perverted on him!

"You look dazed. I'm taking you to the nurse."

"Hahaha, silly, silly Franken! I'm okay!" She wiped the drool off her face, attempting to scowl. Instead of getting angry, he got off the goddamn chair and picked her up in his arms. She sighed. He was gonna take her off to the nurse's office and neglect his students. Why was _she_ his priority? And yeah, she couldn't walk, but…mmm. He smelled familiar and nice. She yawned and buried her face against his neck, closing her eyes.

For the second time that week, she was deposited on a nurse's office bed. She felt a cold compress on her head, grinning gleefully at the sensation of loving fingers brushing hair out of her face. It felt comforting and almost familiar. She didn't know who'd ever take the time to do that for _her_ though. "Doctor Medusa? Franken brought me here," she said. But Doctor Medusa didn't answer.

Spirit opened her eyes to find Franken standing above her, wrapping her ankle with bandages and cold compresses. When had her shoes been taken off? It didn't matter. He finished, deft fingers all she could really focus on as he pulled blankets up to her chin. "Spirit, you need to rest. I won't have my weapon making her injuries worse. Be a good Death Scythe and sleep."

She yawned, feeling her heavy eyes close as she nestled against the pillow. "Okay...Mama Spirit gotta rest…night, Franken…"


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own the legal copyrights to _Soul Eater_. I was not involved in the production of the anime or manga in any way. This is just for fan purposes and me seeing what _Soul Eater_ would be like with a female Spirit and male Kami.

Author's note: So, what are you thinking of my portrayal of F!Spirit and her relationships with Stein and M!Kami (and the rest of the cast she's interacted with) so far? The story of how Spirit and Kami met and fell in love will be explored in later chapters, but it's not really cute like the way Spirit and Stein met is. I hope everyone's IC. And Kami's surname is revealed in this chapter!

-oooooooo-

She'd dreamed about Kami. He took her back, and she was so happy because they were together again. Then she woke up, and he wasn't there; all she could do was sob and cling to her pillow as a high, keening wail filled the room. She needed Kami so much!

Maka's smaller hand reached out to touch hers. What was her daughter doing here? Little Maka should be in class with her professor. Spirit didn't know how long she'd been sleeping. "Are you okay, Mama?" Worried green eyes stared into tear-filled blue. Maka was _worried_ about her?

She wiped the tears out of her eyes and sighed softly. The keening wail stopped, and she realized she'd made that sound again. "Yeah. I just miss your papa today."

"I was looking for you at lunch, but you never showed up. And then Professor Stein said you were injured! I thought he'd hurt you!" Worry was replaced with a bit of fear. Spirit knew why; Franken was probably the _last_ person Maka trusted to take care of her mama! Spirit sat up against the pillows and squeezed her daughter's hand.

"Hahaha, I tripped and smacked my head into the back of Franken's chair! He brought me here." She grinned, running a hand over her forehead. There was only a slight twinge of _ouch_, which she should've expected. Being Lord Death's weapon had given her far greater tolerance for head injuries than most people. "It doesn't even hurt that much. Your mama's had Reaper Chops that hurt worse!"

Maka dropped Spirit's hand and stared at her with shock. "Professor Stein brought you here and didn't try _experimenting_ on you?"

"You got a break from him, Maka! Aren't you happy?"

"Do you even know what he did when he came to class?"

Spirit shrugged. "Dissection?"

Maka shook her head, sighing. "No! He actually walked into the room and wheeled his chair in! And then he gave us all lessons on identifying witches right out of the textbook!"

"Really? Franken's actually a good teacher when he follows the textbook!" She grinned, trying to reassure Maka. "I learned better from him than the regular teachers when I was in school!" Maybe she'd made him too worried to dissect things. He'd always tried to take care of her; she remembered him saying that he was going to be a doctor one day and setting her broken arm.

Maka pulled out _The Lightning Thief_, opening to chapter one as she smiled at Spirit. "Hey Mama, why do you call Professor Stein by his first name when nobody else does?"

Spirit yawned, nestling back against the pillows. Most people were too afraid of Franken. "I'm not gonna call the guy I've been best friends with since I was seven by his last name. That would be like him calling me Death Scythe all the time."

-oooooooo-

Doctor Medusa pronounced her well enough to leave school property, so Spirit went back home. The apartment she'd shared with Kami and Maka not long ago now just had _her_, and she couldn't help but feel lonely.

She walked into the house to find Blair sitting on her couch. "Hey there, Mama!" The purple-haired cat witch waved to her, grinning as she motioned next to her. "You look awfully down. What's getting at you?"

Spirit could only stare in shock. How the hell did Blair know where she lived? Damn cat! "Gah! How'd you get in?"

Blair giggled, gesturing to the back of a hideous pink floral print armchair that hadn't been there this morning. "Your mother let me in, silly! She's moving in to take care of you!"

Spirit held out her hand, and Blair put a wineglass in it. The cat witch used her magic to fill the glass with whiskey. Spirit started to drink. Mmm. Whiskey never let her down when she was feeling shitty. It burned her throat as she took heavy gulps, but not even a glass of whiskey could stop her from noticing footsteps.

Her mama glared down at her, shaking her head in frustration as she got on the couch next to Spirit. Phasma had been a great weapon back when she still had a meister. But Spirit had long since surpassed her mama. The woman held out a box of twelve cupcakes; Spirit licked her lips despite herself. She needed the sweets to make her feel better. "Spirit. Isn't it a bit early in the day to drink? Have some sweets."

"Mama! I'm a Death Scythe! I can drink whenever I please!" Spirit rolled her eyes. Blair refilled the whiskey, and Spirit downed more, grinning at the delicious taste. Burning was starting to feel good in a way. "Ahhh. Damn, that's the good stuff. Blair, you're a real natural bartender."

Mama elbowed her, and Spirit reluctantly handed over the empty wineglass to Blair. Aw man, she didn't get any more alcohol! This was gonna suck! "I think you need to get going, Blair. Spirit and I need to catch up," Phasma snapped.

Blair got up and headed to the door, liquor in tow. "Bye, Spirit! Bye, Phasma!" She left, winking as the wine glass floated behind her.

Damn! All the liquor was gone! Spirit needed more to drink! She couldn't deal with Mama while sober! Mama elbowed her again, and Spirit yelped. "Why did you move here? I thought you were living in one of those nice condos for retired weapons."

"Well, you've been alone since the divorce. I wanted to make you feel better." Mama was just grinning like she thought it was the _best idea ever_, and Spirit personally thought it was terrible. She was capable of taking care of herself.

"Gah! Mama! I can take care of myself! I'm a Death Scythe now!"

Mama opened the cupcake box and handed it over. "Do you still miss Kami?"

Spirit sobbed, the pain of him being gone hitting her right in the heart. She felt herself break all over again. She took a cupcake, unwrapping it before she started to eat. Chocolate. Mmm. "I shouldn't have ever cheated on him!" She chewed some more before finishing the first cupcake, grabbing a second cupcake and devouring it without thinking. "I'm a horrible person! All I cared about was sex! I love him! So why did I cheat on him? I didn't deserve him!"

"Honey. You're a sex addict. Did he stop giving you what you need?" Mama patted her on the shoulder, and Spirit screamed, lashing out, trying to hit Mama.

"Shut up, Mama! That's just a fancy way of calling me a slut! Kami said so!"

Mama sighed and shook her head. "Kami isn't good enough for you."

Spirit sobbed again, holding her head in her hands. "I love him!"

"He knocked you up when you were seventeen."

Not this argument again! Spirit scowled at Mama through the tears. "I didn't remember to remind him about using a condom!"

"Honey, he only married you because he'd gotten you pregnant."

"Don't say that! Kami married me because he loved me!"

"Your precious Kami is a total douche." Mama just shrugged, tugging her shirt down. Spirit scowled. Kami wasn't a douche! How dare Mama say that about him! Mama just scooted next to her on the couch and hugged her. "It's good that you cheated on Kami. He brought it on himself. And honey, he was _not _good at picking dates."

Spirit bit her lip nervously. "Kami loved me! And he's not a douche!"

"Remember the times he made you visit the Death City Museum of Modern Art on date night?" asked Phasma. Spirit shuddered at the thought, cramming two cupcakes into her mouth as she swallowed. She'd had to look at paintings of _colored splots_ and random lines along with weird spray-painted statues for three hours. So. Boring. All she wanted to do was eat and then sleep curled up next to Maka when they got home. She'd been so mind-numbingly bored that she didn't even want sex.

"I don't know why he took me more then once. Most boring dates ever. I guess he wanted me to understand art, but there wasn't even a fun gift shop I could escape to! It was awful! He wouldn't let me go to the cafeteria either!" She shuddered, groaning as she remembered Kami's favorite painting. It was three pink rings on a blue background. A gigantic pink circle was in the middle of the center ring. Damn thing was entitled _Joy_, but Spirit didn't feel joy when she looked at it. All she felt was confusion.

Mama nodded to her, patting her on the shoulder with one hand as she stuffed a cupcake into Spirit's open mouth. "What about the night he took you to the Death City Guitar Museum? You hadn't eaten lunch."

Sprit swallowed her cupcake, grabbing two more and cramming them into her mouth. Why Kami had decided to take her to the Death City Guitar Museum was beyond her. But she had no patience to look at guitars that all seemed the same. "Ugh. Guitars. Boring. I never asked him why he took me there. He didn't even give me _dinner_ out of it, so Maka and I had to share an extra-large pizza and three orders of mozzarella sticks."

The cupcake box was empty. Mama handed her another cupcake box, and Spirit promptly shoved one in her mouth.

"Honey, he just took you places that he liked. He didn't care about your happiness."

Spirit stuffed her face with more cupcakes, thinking back to all the bad dates that Kami had taken her on. They'd gone to some stupid artsy movie when Spirit wanted to see _Tangled_, and that movie theater didn't allow food. Then there was the time Kami took her to the opera. Gah! She hadn't been able to understand _Don Giovanni_ at all! Not to mention the times he'd taken her to the theater. Boring! She didn't have time to watch all those plays!

Why did Kami give her such terrible dates? Was he really trying to be cultured? She ate three more cupcakes, feeling herself cry. She loved Kami. But she only really had fun on date night when it was _her_ night to pick where they went. Mama hugged her, running her delicate hands through Spirit's hair. "Oh, honey, it's okay. Kami didn't ever love you."

-oooooooo-

The next day, after Spirit had gotten some breakfast, her iPhone rang. Ugh. It was eight in the fucking morning. What the hell did the caller want? She checked caller ID, grinning when she noticed it was Maka. Yes!

"Hi, Maka!"

"Mama…Professor Stein cancelled class."

Spirit bit her lip, starting to pace around the kitchen. Franken cancelled class? "That's free time for you, right?"

"He's never cancelled class before. I wonder if he's off dissecting something."

Her phone rang, caller ID saying that it was Franken. "Maka, he's calling me right now. Please hold, honey."

"This is really freaking me out," Maka muttered. "How did he get your phone number?"

Spirit's phone rang again. She pressed the talk button nervously, worried what he had to say to her. There was a noticeable _click_ on the phone, and Spirit groaned. He was turning the screw. "Hey there, Spirit."

"How did you get this number?"

"You're listed in the DWMA phone directory online as 'Death Scythe.'"

"Hahaha, right! I forgot about that! Hey, Franken, why did you call me? Maka says you cancelled class? Why?"

He sighed. "I'm taking you out for ice cream at eleven. My treat."

Spirit felt herself blush. "Oh, right! That's the usual deal for when you put me down in a fight!" She giggled despite herself. This _wasn't_ a date. It was just Franken taking her out to have food like they always did when he used Soul Force.

"So I'll be picking you up at your place," he said. She blushed again. Why was he making her heart beat faster just from hearing his voice? It should be like that with Kami. She'd _never_ been like that with Kami.

"I'll be ready."

She could hear meister-command in his voice when he said, "Make sure you don't procrastinate." That was an order coming from _her meister_, and she felt the urge to get ready for him right then. He didn't want her to procrastinate, and she knew she had to prepare for him picking her up. She was still in her short pumpkin-print nightgown, which showed off a lot of cleavage. She couldn't go with him wearing _that_.

"Gotcha. I won't procrastinate. Gonna get dressed right now." She put her dishes in the dishwasher, sighing when she realized it was almost full. Hopefully, Mama would remember to wash the dishes.

"Good Death Scythe," he purred. She felt herself practically melting at his voice, sighing with pleasure. Why the hell did it sound like he was trying to seduce her? She didn't know, but she _loved_ the way it sounded.

"Bye, Franken," she stammered, hitting the end call button on her phone. She switched to Maka's call, biting her lip nervously. What would she tell Maka?

"Mama? What does he want?"

Spirit groaned. "He's taking me out for ice cream today."

"That's…really weird for Professor Stein," Maka said. "Why's he being so nice to you?"

"I don't like being put down in a fight, and he used Soul Force when we fought Crona." She yawned, rubbing her eyes with her free hand as she walked toward her room.

"He really knows you well."

She sighed. She used to feel that he was the other half of her soul. That should be how she felt about Kami; she and Franken seemed to just _fit_ together, and she didn't know why. "Yeah. He does. We were practically inseparable for ten years. Gotta go, sweetie." She hung up the phone, tossing it on the couch before heading for her room. She had to get dressed! And fast!

When she tried to open her bedroom door, it was locked. Argh! What on earth was Mama doing? Spirit had slept on the couch last night because Mama fell asleep in her bed! Gah! She just wanted her room back! Balling her hand into a fist, Spirit pounded on the door as hard as she could. "Mama! Open my goddamn door! I need to get dressed!"

The door opened with an ominous _creek_, Phasma narrowing her eyes at Spirit. Mama wore a blue shirt that said "I'm With Stupid" and this hideous patchwork skirt with many different clashing colors and patterns. "Yell louder, Spirit. I don't think they heard you in Boston," Mama snapped. Spirit stuck out her tongue, shoving herself past Mama so that she could get back into her room.

"I'm going with someone to get ice cream," Spirit growled. "So I need to get dressed. Get outta my room, Mama."

Mama smiled, hugging her. "Oh, honey! You've got a date, don't you?"

Spirit sighed, rolling her eyes and hoping that Mama didn't misinterpret what she said. "No. I'm just getting ice cream." She dug around in her closet, pulling out her favorite pants, green blouse with crosses on the collar, suit jacket, and tie. Quickly, she searched for clean underwear, yelling, "Ha! And Spirit Albarn wins!" when she pulled out an olive green silk bra with black lace and skull print panties. They were clean, and that was the only thing she cared about.

She pulled on her clean undies before starting with her pants. "Are you going to wear _that_?" Mama asked, sounding disgusted with her outfit. Oh no. This was just what she'd been afraid of.

She rolled her eyes, continuing to get dressed. She felt comfortable, and that was the important thing. Mama walked towards her and scowled, looking Spirit's outfit up and down. "Honey, you can't go on a date dressed like that. He'll think you're not putting in any effort to look nice for him."

Spirit groaned. She wrestled with her tie, shrugging on her suit jacket before rolling her eyes and walking out of the room. "Mama, it's just ice cream with Franken. That's always been my reward for not getting pissed when he put me down to use Soul Force."

"A date with _Franken_? Well, then you've _got_ to look extra presentable! You can't go on a date looking…the way you do now!"

"It's not a date! He's my friend!"

-oooooooo-

Spirit had narrowly managed to escape Mama making her put on a skirt and high heels. No way in hell was she going to wear heels just to get ice cream! That would be really uncomfortable! Someone rang the doorbell, and Spirit quickly answered, hoping that Franken could take her away from Mama's clothing madness.

"Hey there, Spirit. You ready?"

She grabbed him by the hand and grinned. "Let's go!"

Unfortunately, Mama chose that exact moment to walk out of Spirit's room, holding up the damn black plaid skirt she'd picked out. "Oh. Hello, Franken."

"Good afternoon, Ms. Albarn. My, you look…nice today." Spirit glanced at Franken, knowing full well he'd perfected that shy smile to impress her mother.

Mama smirked, pulling a box of condoms out of her pocket. She handed them to Spirit; the Death Scythe stared at the box, unable to figure out why her mother was being _so stupid_. Being faithful to Kami meant no sex! But it also meant bad dates. She wasn't sure if she wanted to go on another date where Kami picked where they went.

"Mama! I'm going out for ice cream! Franken and I aren't together! He's my best friend!"

Mama rolled her eyes, shaking her head. Spirit made a disgusted face at Franken, who sighed. "This isn't a date. I owe her ice cream for putting her down in a fight and using Soul Force."

"It's been over a month since my sex-addicted daughter got laid! So you best make sure she has some fun and forgets about that awful Kami Hanketsu. He didn't fuck her often enough."

Spirit felt tears well up in her eyes. Mama kept insulting her Kami! And she brought up the medical condition! "Kami is a great husband and meister! I love him! So put the condoms _away_, Mama," she sobbed. "I'm not going to cheat on my Kami! Sex isn't even important to me!"

Franken sighed, picking her up as he cradled her in his arms and walked out of the apartment. When had he gotten so strong? Spirit beat her hands against his chest, trying to get free. Argh! She'd have preferred being carted over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes to _bridal style_! "Don't worry, Ms. Albarn. I'll take good care of Spirit." He looked down at Spirit, throwing a bit of meister-command into his voice as he said, "Stop hitting me. I'm not going to put you down until we're out of this apartment."

She stopped hitting him, instead choosing to shoot a glare at her mother before nestling her head against Franken's chest. Spirit wasn't gonna admit it, but she felt safe. "You owe me _damn good_ ice cream now. I have to put up with you carrying me," she growled.

-oooooooo-

The ice cream parlor swarmed with couples. Spirit expanded her rudimentary soul perception to see how long the line would be, and she sighed. There were ten people in front of them. Great. She didn't really care that those people were in couples; she wanted her ice cream _now_. Franken smiled at her, and Spirit felt her heart beat a bit faster. He really _was_ handsome when he smiled at her.

She couldn't stop herself from wondering what it would be like to touch his strong muscles and if turning the screw in his head would make him aroused. Sharpening and polishing her blade was arousing for _her_. Her nose started to trickle blood, and she shot him a perverted grin, drooling slightly as she looked up at her meister.

He pulled out a tissue from somewhere in his lab coat and held it to her nose. "Here, Spirit. You're getting a bad nosebleed."

She blushed red as her hair, letting him hold the tissue to her nose while they moved forward in line. This really wasn't helping the situation any! Her nose kept gushing as she started to imagine what sex with him would be like, and all she could do was whack her arm to stop it. Cause the images that came to mind were amazing. Imagine what sex would be like with their level of resonance! That would be awesome!

What the fuck was wrong with her? She couldn't subject her best friend to perverted behavior! Franken was her best friend! What would he _think_ if he knew she was thinking about cheating on Kami with him? Oh yeah, he'd hate her so much! Franken couldn't leave the Friend Zone!

She'd never win Kami back if she didn't stay loyal to him! Her nose stopped bleeding, and Franken tossed the tissue in a trashcan near the "to go" order window.

By the time they got to the front of the line, a brunette waitress wearing a frilly black skull dress, black Mary Jane shoes, and a nametag that read "Hi, I'm Rachel" shot them a too-broad obviously fake smile. "Welcome to Sweet Reapings ice cream parlor! Two?"

Franken nodded. "Yes."

The waitress flipped her long brown hair over her shoulder, sighing and rolling her eyes. "Is a booth okay with you?"

Spirit liked booths better than tables. They were more fun to sit at! She shot the waitress a grin. "We're fine with it. Can we get our ice cream now?"

The waitress nodded. "Right this way." She picked out two menus and started walking towards a secluded booth. Spirit shrugged, following because she just wanted her ice cream; the waitress placed their menus down, and Spirit slid in on the right.

"Your server will be here in a minute. Take a minute to decide what you want." With that, the waitress left, and Spirit was left to choose her ice cream in peace.

She picked up her menu, skimming it until she found the sundae section. "I know what I want. A brownie sundae with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and sprinkles."

Franken surveyed his menu, nodding absently. "I'd like a thick chocolate milkshake." He turned the screw in his head a few times. "I had to get my head on straight," he explained.

She shook her head at him, laughing as she pointed to the screw. "Hahahaha! Pretty funny, Franken! That's what you get when you install a big-ass screw in your head!"

He smiled at her; she could feel her heart start to beat faster in her chest. No, no, no, Franken was in the Friend Zone!

At least the server came to take their order at that moment. "Hi! My name's Amara! I'll be taking care of you today! What can I get you?" Franken turned his screw to the right, groaning when he looked at the new waitress.

He looked pointedly at Spirit, who realized she'd have to order for both of them. She eyed the waitress, sizing the blue-haired young woman up. "My meister wants a thick chocolate shake. _I _want a large brownie sundae with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and sprinkles," she said. The new waitress scribbled _something_ on her order pad and just smiled.

"I'll place your order right away."

Spirit sighed in relief as the waitress left. Franken wasn't always comfortable with waiters at restaurants. Sometimes they got too pushy for his liking.

"You seem depressed. I've never seen you like this before," Franken said. He cocked his head at her. "Is it because you haven't been getting any sex? I know it's hard to resist the cravings brought on by sex addiction." Spirit looked down at the black table, pretending to find her napkin interesting.

He brought up the medical condition. She bit her lip, staring at him as she rubbed her eyes to prevent the tears. "S-shut up, Franken. I miss Kami. Don't bring up m-my stupid medical condition."

He reached out his hand, but she didn't take it. "You and Kami are divorced, right?"

"Yeah…but I don't see why that matters. I'm waiting for him."

"You should have sex with other men. It won't be cheating."

Spirit crossed her arms, glaring at Franken. "I don't _need _sex! All I need is Kami back! I cheated on him and lost the love of my life!" She felt herself starting to cry, and dabbed at her tears with her sleeve.

"Why did you cheat on him?" Franken didn't look like he was judging her; instead, he was staring at her with that creepy intensity he used to get whenever he played with his science experiments or watched her eat souls. She wanted to run away, but that wasn't an option. If she escaped Franken, she didn't get her sundae.

He asked why she cheated. _Again_. Argh! What did he want to know that she hadn't already told him? "Dammit, Franken, I already told you! I cheated because I was a slut and let the medical condition run my life!"

He reached out like he was going to pat her on the shoulder; she wanted to back up so that he could let her be miserable. She didn't need his stupid comfort. But she didn't flinch. She stayed where she was, allowing him to touch her. He knew her too well. "Be honest with me, Spirit. Did Kami love you?"

She stared at him in shock, eyes widening as she felt her jaw drop open. Why did he have to _say_ such things to her? He really thought Kami didn't love her? "Of course he did!"

"I think Kami didn't care about you." Franken smiled at her, awkwardly patting her shoulder from across the table.

Spirit sobbed, holding her head in her hands as she looked up at him. "Kami and I were happy together. We were in love. And now he hates me! It's my fault! I wasn't faithful!"

"When did you start cheating?"

"Maka was eight! We found out she was a meister. Kami didn't care about sex after that. He wanted to be a role model for Maka. I was selfish."

Franken nodded at her. "So he stopped caring about sex and you cheated on him. It's his fault for withholding sex from you."

"No! It's not his fault! It's mine!" Spirit couldn't see that well, world becoming blurry through her tears. She really shouldn't have treated not getting sex from Kami like it was the end of the world; it was selfish and immature of her.

"He taught you to be ashamed of your needs."

"_I_ thought that sex with Kami twice a month was too little sex."

Franken opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but their waitress came with the large brownie sundae that Spirit had ordered. "There you go," the waitress said. "Enjoy!"

Huh. Spirit didn't see any chocolate milkshake. She _knew_ she'd ordered one for Franken. "We're missing something."

"You ordered a brownie sundae to share. Awww, you're such a cute couple!" the waitress squealed.

Spirit raised her eyebrows at Franken, staring at the sundae in dismay. "I know my meister ordered a chocolate milkshake."

"Silly weapon. The sundae's for _sharing_," the waitress said, smiling like she thought Spirit was stupid.

"Hey, lady! Where's the second spoon?" The woman skipped off before she answered Spirit's question, holding a tray laden with other frozen treats.

Spirit looked at Franken and nodded to him. "Rock-paper-scissors for the sundae?"

He grinned. "You're on."

Both meister and weapon stuck out their hands, careful not to knock over their ice cream. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

Spirit threw rock. Franken threw scissors, and Spirit grinned in triumph. "Ha! I get the ice cream! Suck it, Franken!"

Franken pointed to the spoon, shaking his head. "Rock-paper-scissors for the spoon?"

"Yeah." Once again, Spirit threw rock, assuming that Franken would throw scissors again. But he threw paper, and Spirit glared at him. "Oh, come on! How are we supposed to work this out?"

"I have an idea." He brought the spoon to Spirit's mouth, and she glared at him. He was trying to _feed her_? Argh! She could eat the whole thing herself without needing his help! "Open your mouth when I feed you, Spirit," he said. She opened her mouth, allowing him to spoon in the ice cream. She swallowed and glared; he took a bite of _their sundae_.

"It's a terri—" Franken gave her another bite of ice cream, which she swallowed as soon as he gave her it. "—ble idea. They're going to think I'm your girlfriend." Spirit blushed, opening her mouth for another bite when it was offered to her. Damn Franken. He knew her too well; she'd never pass up ice cream.

They continued alternating bites of the sundae until it was gone, and Spirit allowed Franken to feed her without further prompting. It was actually sweet of him.

"There's some ice cream on your mouth," he said. She got a napkin, trying to dab it off, but he pulled her into a deep, passionate kiss that she couldn't stop herself from returning. Wow. She didn't know that Franken was able to kiss like _that_. When she pulled back, she turned away, blushing as she fought the urge to grab him and kiss him again.

He was in the Friend Zone! She had to remember that! And she needed to keep herself pure for Kami! "What did you do _that_ for, you pervert? I'm saving my kisses for Kami!"

He smiled, getting up and leaving five Death Dollars on the table as he started to leave. "Let's go back to work, Spirit."

"Right. Thanks for the ice cream."

She and Franken were friends, but this date was still a lot better than anything Kami had ever planned.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own the legal copyrights to _Soul Eater_. I was not involved in the production of the anime or manga in any way. This is just for fan purposes and me seeing what _Soul Eater_ would be like with a female Spirit and male Kami.

Author's note: Sorry for such a long wait. I tried to make up for it though! Also, there's a Halloween update later today. Hope you enjoy this latest chapter in Spirit Albarn's story. Serious Spirit shows off her smarts! She's a lot smarter than she looks, since Spirit isn't a Death Scythe for nothing.

-oooooooo-

When they got back to the DWMA and—hopefully—sanity, Maka and Soul were banging on the Death Room door. As her mother, Spirit had to make sure that Maka knew she was ready to help. She was fairly sure that she should be in there anyway, since Lord Death probably could use her help. Spirit revered the Grim Reaper, but she didn't think he took anything seriously enough. "Maka! What do you need to enter the Death Room for?"

"Black Star and Tsubaki are on a dangerous mission. We need to see Lord Death!"

Franken shrugged, flapping his hands as he bent them at the wrist. "So? Why don't you go in there yourselves?"

"Professor Stein! We can't! The DWMA rules clearly state that a student can only enter the Death Room with a professor!" Maka's eyes were wide with horror. Soul just looked completely bored.

He rolled his eyes at Maka, letting out a sigh. "Knock it off, Maka. You're not being cool."

"Not being cool? I need to know why Black Star and Tsubaki got such a dangerous mission! They're after the enchanted sword Masamune!" Pouting, Maka stomped her foot and glared at Spirit. _Do something, Mama_, her pleading green eyes said.

This was terrible! Black Star and Tsubaki were after an enchanged sword! How could they handle it? Sending a one-star pair like those two for a job that a three-star pair like she and Stein could easily handle was crazy. Lord Death shouldn't have sent Maka's friends on that job.

She nodded and gestured to herself and Franken. "We're professors. We'll let you in." Franken glanced at her with a slight twitch to his brow, turning the screw in his head to the right as he slouched against the wall.

His hand reached in his lab coat pocket for a box of cigarettes, and Spirit got right in front of him. Now was _not _the time to smoke! Honestly, she understood a craving for bad habits, but he couldn't just smoke while in front of the Death Room! What if Lord Death got offended?

She glared, snatching his hand as she held it in place. "_Come on_, Franken. Work with me here."

He fought her, tugging as he managed to snatch the cigarette box from her strong grip. "Does Lord Death even enforce that rule? I am unaware of him having done such a thing."

She let him get the box, taking her hand out of his pocket as she pinned him to the wall; Spirit grabbed his shoulders as she got up on tiptoe to glare into his eyes. "Honestly, I don't even know and I'm his Death Scythe. But my Maka's memorized the DWMA rules. She'll get a meaner professor to let her in if we don't help."

He sighed. "I made lunch for us. If memory serves me right, you like Japanese food." Spirit perked up at the mention of Japanese food, hoping that Franken bothered to make them an authentic bento box. Living in Death City, where people from all over the world brought their cultures and food, had perks.

"Okay. We eat in the Death Room. Go get the lunch, then we're letting my Maka in."

-oooooooo-

"Lord Death! I wanna know why you sent them after Masamune!" demanded Maka. Spirit smiled at Franken, feeling so proud of her little girl. Maka took after Kami in how direct and intelligent she was.

Lord Death waved his hands around as Maka yelled, looking—for Lord Death—somewhat nervous and worried. He held his hands up in front of him, seemingly in shock. "Whoa! Easy there, meister! Who invited you to the Death Room in the first place?"

Spirit waved to Lord Death and grinned. Franken shrugged, waving slightly with a new cigarette in his mouth.

Maka held herself up high, shoulders back as she stared up at Lord Death. She cleared her throat. "The one hundred and eighteenth rule in the Death Weapon Meister Academy handbook states: In the event of an emergency, students are allowed to enter the Death Room without first obtaining permission."

"Really? It does?" asked Lord Death. Maka looked crestfallen, and Spirit patted her daughter on the shoulder. She'd had many years experience of dealing with Lord Death; sometimes, the Grim Reaper could forget things like the rules he himself put into place. She revered Lord Death, and still thought he was the world's greatest hero, but he was a bit…spazzy and scatter-brained at times.

Shoes clicked as Kid entered the room, smoothing a hand through his hair to make it more symmetrical. "What type of enemy is this enchanted sword, Father?" he asked. Spirit turned to look at him, having not expected to see Kid. Right, the Grim Reaper's son could enter the Death Room without an invitation, just like Spirit could since she was a Death Scythe.

Kid was with Liz and Patty; as usual, Liz appeared exasperated while Spirit saw this smile on Patty's face that looked kind of dopey but she recognized it from pictures of herself.

"Kid?" Lord Death asked, "You've come to join the party?" Spirit looked at Franken and rolled her eyes. Lord Death was having one of his…moments today.

Soul leaned slightly forward. "This enchanted sword guy isn't like the demon sword, is he?"

Maka slouched, looking a bit less confident. "I hope not." Spirit patted her on the shoulder, ruffling her daughter's hair and smiling. Though she let out a sigh and frowned. She'd been keeping tabs on Masamune for a while; ever since he'd shown up and started eating souls of the afraid, Spirit had viewed him as a threat to the DWMA and, more importantly, to Lord Death.

Franken nodded, straightening himself up as he stuck his hands in his pockets. "The enchanted sword doesn't have a witch with him. He might actually be less dangerous if he was under a witch's supervision."

Spirit crossed her arms. She stood next to him, breathing lightly as she nodded to him. It was her turn to talk. "The enchanted sword takes advantage of the fear in people's hearts," she explained. "He uses that fear in order to take possession of his targets, and gain control of their bodies. He then consumes his victim's souls."

"Unless someone stops him," Franken said, "…he will become a Kishin."

-oooooooo-

The Death Mirror showed Black Star, with Tsubaki in ninja-sword mode, speeding around a young man who was holding the enchanted sword Masamune. Spirit watched the shadow that Masamune controlled, a puppet that was connected to the hapless wielder. Black Star had been wounded in battle, and Spirit suspected this was only the beginning.

She eyed his technique of running, nodding to Maka as he fell, skidding towards the statue. It hit him in the groin, and Spirit watched Black Star scream. This wasn't the right technique for fighting in the rain. As Black Star writhed in pain from the hit to his balls—Spirit couldn't help snickering—the shadow struck. Forcing Black Star to his feet, it pushed him back towards the huts topped with needles.

The young meister hopped around, clutching his groin in obvious pain, and all Spirit could do was laugh. "Hahahaha, Maka, did you see that? Black Star's hurt his balls! Bwahahaha!"

Franken let out an exasperated sigh, and Soul and Kid looked at her like she was going to hit them in the groin. "Mama, that's not funny! Black Star could get hurt!"

Masamune's hapless wielder stood sideways, legs bent and a hand on each end of the blade's hilt. His right shoulder was tucked close to him, while his left shoulder was up as though he were going to charge. The shadow's "arms" wrapped themselves around the blade, creating jagged edges on it.

"Puppet Thrust," growled Masamune. A black beam shot from the sword, and Black Star immediately blocked with Tsubaki. Then the shadow suddenly extended itself forward, long, sharp needles coming from it. Several needles impaled Black Star, preventing him from moving; while he tried to get into his stance, the shadow struck, punching him in the face. The boy was sent flying back, and blood covered his face. Yet still Black Star fought on the defensive as the shadow kept attacking him.

"Mama…is Black Star going to be all right?"

Spirit looked at Franken, having figured out how they'd have defeated the enchanted sword, and she smiled at him before turning to her daughter. "Franken and I can take Masamune easily. He'd have blocked with me until Masamune was lulled into a false sense of security, occasionally getting in a strike with my blade. Then he'd use Spirit Body after we resonated so that I could protect him from the attacks. After that, we'd resonate again and use Witch Hunter. Black Star doesn't have a strategy. I don't know if he'll be okay. He needs to communicate with his weapon."

She watched as Black Star foolhardily rushed the enchanted sword. Her eyes narrowed, and she watched as both enchanted sword and Tsubaki clanged against one another. Hmmm. Didn't look like Black Star had a plan…he could die without a plan. Then the sword was close to striking, and Black Star leaped through the air, flipping as he landed in front of it. Spirit clapped.

"I knew Black Star could do it," Soul said.

Franken sighed and puffed on his cigarette. "The battle is not yet over."

Tsubaki changed to her chain scythe form as Black Star stood on a statue. Spirit hoped that the young weapon was strong enough to get through this fight. As Masamune's wielder charged towards them, Spirit could see the determination on Black Star's face. Spirit recognized it from her own soul resonance, and she understood. "Let's go! Soul Resonance!" they yelled.

Chains filled the air, forming the shape of a star that would protect Black Star from any harm. Masamune's wielder struck, unable to break the shield barrier that Black Star and Tsubaki had set in place. Spirit grinned, pumping her fist in the air. Yeah! He was communicating with his weapon! Any good meister should be able to do that well. Black Star launched himself through the air, letting go of Tsubaki as sparks flashed around his hands.

Of course. He was going to hit Masamune with his soul wavelength. Smart plan.

He shot his soul wavelength through the shield, forcing Masamune off his wielder as Tsubaki lept through the air and caught the blade. She got on her knees, holding the blade as she cried out. Her eyes became red pinpricks, face sporting tattooed markings. She was brave, just like Spirit; the Death Scythe knew Tsubaki was scared, but backing down from a fight wasn't something weapons or meisters did. Tsubaki wanted to fight the enchanted sword, and it was her duty to defeat him.

"What just happened?" Soul asked.

Franken stated, "Tsubaki's gone inside the enchanted sword."

Maka held her head down as she turned to Soul. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was slightly open. Spirit patted her daughter's shoulder, wrapping an arm around Maka and rocking her. "Why would you do that, Tsubaki? Mama, we have to stop this somehow! You're a Death Scythe! Can't you defeat Masamune?"

"What is she thinking? How is a weapon supposed to fight without her meister?" Spirit couldn't agree more with Soul. She was somewhat capable of operating with her bladed arms, but when it came to serious fights, she needed Franken.

"You don't get it," said Lord Death. He sounded oddly serious for once, and Spirit felt nervous. When Lord Death was serious…that meant he couldn't find any humor in a situation. "The fight is taking place inside their souls. Anything could happen now. It had to come to this. You see, Tsubaki is the only one who could stand against the enchanted sword."

-oooooooo-

Tsubaki was in danger, and all Spirit could do was watch, waiting for the girl to emerge from the weapon. Her stomach growled, and she let out a groan. Oh great…she could feel pangs running through her stomach as she rubbed it, trying to make herself stop. She looked at Franken and shrugged. "Let's eat," he said.

"I'm starving."

"I would agree with you, Spirit. I have been waiting to eat this lunch since we got here. It is thirty minutes past our lunchtime."

He got out the bento box, and Spirit grabbed the offered set of chopsticks. Sitting down, they started to eat their bento and satisfy their stomachs. Ah! So much better than waiting for Tsubaki to die! Nothing was happening out there anyway except for Black Star getting beaten up! Besides, Spirit knew that Tsubaki would win.

Tsubaki was a strong weapon. She'd be the next Death Scythe. Spirit had a feeling about the teenager; there was a spark and determination in Tsubaki that reminded her of herself.

She and Franken happily ate from the stitched-up lunch box until Lord Death's eyes appeared to be watching them. Caught in mid-bite, they looked at him, chopsticks still in their mouths. "Mmm?" They were kind of in the middle of something. Lunch. Spirit had never been so irritated with Lord Death as she was now. Lunch waited for no woman. It was lunchtime, and they were eating lunch.

"We brought snacks, everybody!" yelled Liz and Patty.

"I'm getting us some of those," Spirit said. "Don't eat too much of our lunch. I still need to eat, you know."

"Ah, yes. Your Death Scythe metabolism does require much more food, and you've always had a high metabolism. It comes from being a powerful weapon."

She nodded, going over to Liz and Patty before snatching snacks for them and sitting back next to Franken.

Meister and weapon were unified as one in the desire to snack and finish their lunch. They'd always eaten together when they were younger, and Spirit handed one of the bean buns to Franken, who tore into it while Spirit devoured two.

"Snacks at a time like this?! What are you two ditzes thinking?" yelled Maka. Then she turned to Spirit, glaring. "Mama, you and Professor Stein should really know better! Tsubaki is in trouble!"

Spirit and Franken continued to eat, finishing up their bento and bean buns. "Let's see. How should I put this?" said Franken. Spirit laughed, seeing that he was having problems with a particular wiggly piece of food. She picked it up with the chopsticks and held it to his mouth. He opened and ate it, smiling at her before swallowing.

"Thank you, Spirit. Now, to describe it simply, Tsubaki is engaged in a sort of soul tug-of-war with the enchanted sword Masamune. As her brother makes his move to possess her soul, Tsubaki is countering by trying to absorb his. The struggle will continue until one soul defeats the other and wins."

"Tsubaki's using his own technique against him. Nice. But do you think she has any chance of winning?" asked Kid.

"It will be difficult for her." He bit into their last bean bun, and Spirit ripped it in half with the chopsticks to share with her meister. "It's the sword's soul, so he's got home court advantage. And soul possession is one of his trademark techniques. Yeah. All together, the chance that Tsubaki will win is low."

Spirit leaned against him, nibbling on her half of bean bun. "I have to agree with Franken," she said. "Tsubaki stands a small chance of winning. She's strong. If she can use that strength for her, then she will win. If she can't, which is likely, the enchanted sword will have claimed another victim."

Liz started to cry, and Spirit looked at Franken, shrugging. She didn't know how to break this sobbing up, and she suspected nobody in the room had any idea either. Instead, she just stood up, walking far away from them and waiting for Franken to join her. He soon closed his lunch box and walked towards her.

He let out a sigh, and she patted his shoulder with her free hand. "A person who chooses the path of the Kishin reveals his or her own weakness. The original Kishin sought power in order to escape death. Why has Tsubaki's brother chosen this path to power? What does he seek to gain by becoming a Kishin?" he asked.

Spirit sighed. She wasn't stupid enough not to have checked in on Tsubaki's background after seeing how she could transform into multiple weapon forms. "Tsubaki and Masamune both come from the Nakatsukasa family. That's a clan of weapons that have a very unique ability to pass on abilities down the generations," she stated. "I think Masamune might have been jealous of his younger sister for her abilities."

Franken nodded to her. "Yes. The previous generation's abilities should have been inherited by Masamune, as he was the eldest son. But for some reason, the power was given to Tsubaki."

"What's Tsubaki thinking? Taking him all alone."

"Tsubaki's a very powerful, adaptable weapon," said Franken. "She's very good at what she does. But this time, her opponent was too strong. Spirit and I should have been the ones to face the enchanted sword."

"But she's not really alone," Soul said. "Black Star's sitting right next to her, and he won't budge. Tsubaki wouldn't be able to fight if he weren't with her, would she?"

"Right," Lord Death said, turning towards them. "What's important now is what's in here." He gestured towards his heart and soul. "We all know Tsubaki's an incredibly versatile weapon. She has many modes of attack to defeat an opponent. But that's not where her true strength lies. She carries that in her soul."

Spirit understood. She'd known there was something special about Tsubaki. Now all she had to do was hope that Tsubaki would pull through and win this fight. Otherwise, she couldn't be a Death Scythe, and Spirit wanted to see all of her daughter's weapon friends become Death Scythes. She'd be so proud of them.

-oooooooo-

The battle was over. Tsubaki…won. Spirit was a bit surprised, though she hadn't doubted that the weapon was powerful. Maka's weapon friends all had a chance of becoming Death Scythes now.

"Are you okay, Spirit? You seem a bit grumpy," said Franken.

Grumpy? Her? So she hadn't been as cheerful as she usually was lately, but it wasn't like she'd had reason. She wasn't happy now that Kami divorced her. There was a void in her life, and she couldn't replace it with anything. She _loved_ Kami. She glared at Franken and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm perfectly fine," she snapped. "Shut up, Franken. I'm doing fine."

He twisted the screw in his head slightly and patted her shoulder. "I know when you're upset. Something's bothering you."

She nestled against his touch like she always did, and Lord Death laughed slightly. "Oh, Death Scythe! You and Stein have always been the perfect partners! You're the DWMA's finest because of each other, you know."

"Come on, Franken. Let's get outta the Death Room," she said. Before he could even react, she grabbed his hand and started to drag Franken out of there. Lord Death might tease her about…being involved with Franken, and she didn't want to hear that. Not so soon after their recent kiss.

He didn't put up much resistance; once they were safely out of the Death Room—and out of the DWMA—Spirit sighed and looked at him. She tugged on her tie, not really wanting to tell him what was bothering her. Yet she knew he'd ask. "Look, I'm just hoping that Kami will take me back soon," she said.

"I believe you are experiencing withdrawal from sexual intercourse. How long has it been since, as you would put it, 'Mama got laid'?" He ran a soothing hand through her hair, drawing her close. She let out a sigh. Great. Franken thought there was a connection between her medical condition—she was in control of the damn thing—and her mental state.

She still had to tell him. He was her closest friend, and she hoped he'd give her a cure. Some days, she woke up and felt so awful that it wasn't even worth climbing out of bed. Her head hurt, her stomach hurt, and she couldn't think straight. Her head was full of perverted thoughts on those days, and she wasn't even allowing herself…self-stimulation…to fix the problem. That was still bad. "A month and a half. I'm doing fine. I don't need sex to function, Franken. It's not all that important to me anyway. I mean, it's just sex."

"You're repressing your sexuality. I don't think that's healthy for you. Particularly given your medical condition. Sex addiction isn't something you can overcome with abstinence. It's only making your cravings worse, in my opinion." Franken nodded to her, blowing on his cigarette as he puffed out fumes. Spirit sighed and held her head in her hands. Stupid medical condition. Once someone knew Spirit had it, they acted like she was a nymphomaniac who couldn't control herself. Which had been…sort of true before she got on her pills for it and after she lost the prescription thanks to filing error.

"I'm not cheating on Kami ever again."

-oooooooo-

Chupa Cabra's was still open, and Spirit had some of her coupons in her wallet. Figured they hadn't closed down; temptation stared her in the face.

Franken walked her in, and she felt her cheeks flush bright red. She didn't want to cheat on Kami! No, no, no! But…

She looked at the male hosts, all uniformly dressed in form-fitting butler clothes, and started to drool slightly. "Mama likes," she muttered under her breath. Yet she couldn't stay in Chupa Cabra's. Not if she wanted to stay faithful and true to Kami!

The bartender smiled at her and waved. "Hey, Spirit. Long time no see. Were you on a long mission?"

She looked away, staring guiltily at her feet. There was no way she could stay here. Every bit of her wanted to bolt, but Franken had brought her here, and if she left, she'd prove that she wasn't able to resist temptation. "My beloved Kami divorced me because he felt I was a whore!" she sobbed, tears falling down her face as she covered her eyes. "I am not a whore! I'm a good wife and mother!"

"Of course you aren't. You just have needs. Who's that man with you?" Great. The bartender was looking at her like he thought Franken and she were _together_. Spirit looked at Franken and made a disgusted face. Ick.

Though her nose was bleeding, and she still drooled slightly at the thought of sex. Maybe she'd get satisfied for the first time in over a month. No, no, no, she couldn't let the medical condition rule her life! She wiped up the blood from her nose and the drool with a tissue from her pocket and scowled. "That's Franken Stein. He's my meister and closest friend."

"Spirit has been neglecting her sexual needs. She claims that it is about not cheating so that she can be 'pure' for her former husband, though I believe that he brought it upon himself. He neglected her."

Stupid Franken. Spirit scowled at him, crossing het arms over her chest. She didn't need sex to function. Just because she had a stupid medical condition didn't mean she needed sex. She could hold out until Kami got back, and she'd call him all the time to show him how she kept fidelity!

The bartender smiled. "Miss Spirit. I'll tell Leo and Arima that you're here tonight. Sit down on the couch."

Spirit _really_ didn't want to sit on the couch, but the prospect of sex made her shiver a bit in anticipation. She let out a _harrumph_ before walking to sit down on the couch, closing her eyes as she put her head in her hands. She was being encouraged to cheat…and yet she thought it might be good. Maybe those urges and cravings she had would be satisfied and she wouldn't be shattered and broken inside. She felt like her soul had broken into little pieces when Kami left. Tears ran down her face as she sobbed. Kami was gone, but she had Maka back in her life and now Franken seemed to want to be her friend…she had to get Kami back!

Two people sat next to her on the couch, and she could feel them start to stroke her shoulders and hair. One of them lifted up her head, and she felt the other one wipe her tears away. "There there, Madame Death Scythe," Arima's voice crooned. "Don't cry. You're our favorite client. We missed you so much. None of the other clients treat us right the way you do."

She opened her eyes, allowing herself to acknowledge them. Arima's hair was long and loose today, the blond man having worn the same butler uniform that everyone else did. Leo tickled her chin with his finger, staring deep into her blue eyes. "Madame Death Scythe. You shouldn't be upset and ashamed because of your sex drive. I enjoy your affectionate behavior!"

Spirit smiled, feeling herself perk up. Maybe she wasn't a bad person. Maybe. Arima had a bottle of sake—sake! Yes! Spirit loved sake!—and opened it up. Wrapping an arm around both men and snuggling close with them, she felt a silly, perverted grin slide its way on her face. Opening her mouth wide, she laughed and pointed to the bottle of sake. "Come on then, Arima! Gimme some sake!" He held the bottle up to her mouth, and she tipped her head back, gulping down the burning alcohol that he poured in. Ahhh! She'd missed this!

"Wow! Madame Death Scythe! You can really chug your sake! You're such a fast drinker!"

-oooooooo-

She screwed up. She'd cheated on Kami. Now he'd never take her back. Right after she left Chupa Cabra's with Franken, her iPhone rang. She picked it up, noticing that the name on caller ID was Kami's. Oh, he called her! He called her and she was forgiven! He'd take her back! She knew he would!

She pressed the talk button and grinned. "Hey there, Kami-love! I missed you _so much_!"

"Hello, Spirit."


End file.
